Gym: A guide.
The best time to go is during a Manchester United match because most of the gym is empty.
If you're straight and really have to go during this time then you should sit on an exercise bike in front of the bank of TVs in front and shout at the football.
End of guide.
So, first.
Remember I asked you for a picture of your eyes? In case you've forgotten, there's more about it here.
Well, it's taken Patrick all this time but he's decided to send in his...
Let's not speculate on why Patsy's pupils are the size of saucers because it's not our job to do that!
All I should say is that Patsy's a university student.
I was once a Uni student so I know what goes on.
So if you missed the fun the first time around, you can still mail me a picture of your eyes. Yep, just your eyes, I'll stick it up and thousands around the world can look lovingly into them. (This is an offer you cannot refuse).
bobby.vanquish AT gmail.com
Anyway, so Patrick says he's celebrating the arrival of spring by buying a potplant for his dorm.
Maybe he should introduce his potplant to my potplant.
I don't think I've ever introduced you to Guapo?
Guapo sits near my door and guards the electric toothbrush and a British Airways sign that says something about "it's not our policy to lose luggage".
Like how many airlines do you know who deliberately set out to lose your shit? What a stupid sign, I had to have it.
Anyway, Guapo is about five years old and was bought at the Neasden Ikea and he has been there since the beginning. I think I bought him in March 2003 and he's still there. Poor Guapo.
He's been starved, thrown onto the floor (during this episode) and I think I may have even weed into him at one point. But he's still there.
He's named after the parrot or dog (?) owned by Jack in Will & Grace. Yes, I know. You don't need to say it.... Gay. Gay. Gay.
Moving on.
So we were talking about our wheels after I celebrated the first day of spring by showing you how I like to take my top down (yes, that line of innuendo is going to be used again and again...)
Then I get sent this e-mail from Pete who wants to show us his wheels.
Of course this is a very butch 4x4. Or is it?
Far be it for me to speculate, of course but er, that mud looks ... hmm.
Give me a bucket, some mud and sieve and I can look pretty "off the beaten track" too.
And I'm also not the kind of person to dream up scenarios but I'm sure Pete doesn't throw mud at it only to then have to take it down to the car wash to have it cleaned.
What the hell is this picture doing here?
Gratuitous. Unnecessary. We were going so well, talking about wheels and being all butch-like and then you had to throw this thing into the mix?
Whoops! Here's another one...
Okay, that's about enough of this filth.
I am going to stop. No more.
To prove that I am serious - here's a picture of me reading my Al Qaeda book. Or that sounds rather odd.
Instead, here is a picture of me reading my book about Al Qaeda. We're very highbrow here at this blog. Very high brow...
Tuesday, 1 April 2008
Wash my wheels
Written by Bobby Vanquish at around 22:15
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12 comments:
im 100% positive guapo was the parrot. one of my favorite episodes was when guapo flew out the window and karen started buying jack all that stuff to make up for it. then he flew back and jack pretended like he was still gone. god i miss jack and karen. perhaps i should be embarrassed. but thats okay. i'll gladly take the shame.
Dick: Yeah - I think that parrot was Guapo. My favourite episode is - well - most of them until it got ridiculous around Season 4? It became a parody of itself which was such a pity.
I miss Jack and Karen too... oh woe. Do you think they'll ever come back? I hope so.
I'm not familiar with that book you're reading, but is it a "How To"? I can never be sure about these things and am certainly making no judgements of you, but are you for al Qaeda or against it? Just askin'.
You were just stalking Hamid Karzai on the tube after all!
probably not. maybe years from now when they're all old and gray. at the moment though id settle for either one of them getting another show. and i agree the show did get bad in its second half. but it wasn't so much all bad. it just wasn't as consistently good. in fact my two all time favorite episodes were in the last season which did suck ALOT. it was the two live ones they did. those were hilarious. especially the one where they were all in the bathroom and the pills came flooding out of that closet. oh and anything with beverly leslie was good. he's supposed to be in some new show on logo called sordid lives so that makes me happy.
Those are bugs on that Jeep. Thousands of bugs.
my favorite all time line from Will & Grace was Beverly Leslie talking to Karen (sitting at bar):
"Well, well, well. Karen Walker. I thought I smelled gin. And regret."
haha! oh my god. that was an excellent line timmy. and while reading it i could just hear his high pitched voice saying those lines and then summoning his business associate benji.
Bolt: No - the book is something I'm reading for work. "Work" means I have to read a load of shit - some of which is boring - and that's what I first thought when I picked up the book but actually it's kinda interested.
It's about the rise of Osama Bin Shopping. And I'm not sure you can be for Al Qaeda really - because the premise for their struggle is based on a false one so... anyway. Why the interest?
Auctor: Who long did it take you to collect those bugs and throw them at the Jeep?
ha!
dick & Timmy: I loved Beverly Leslie. So well written - from the name onwards.
Though my favourite line from the series - I dunno why it's my favourite line (maybe cos it's the only one I remember but...) my favoruite line is when Grace walks into the office dressed in a beret and Karen says, pointing to the hat; "Grace, what's that? Patty Hearst couldn't pull that look off and she had money and a gun."
bobby: I don't remember that line from the show but I just lol and scared my dog when I read it.
Um, I wasn't being serious at all and of course sussed out your position on al Queda by reading you use the term "men with tea-towels on their heads". ;-)
How can a 4x4 be butch? Out of the 12 homosexualizers I know with cars, 7 of them have a 4x4, and the rest want one.
I always say that if you want butch go with the lesbionic choice : a hatchback.
okay i forget the specific line but i remember that there was an episode where jack was obsessed with some guy that worked at a coffee shop. he ran in all cracked out on his coffee and started talking about the hotter he gets the hotter i get etc. that is my all time favorite. well, that and pretty much anything that ever came out of karen's mouth.
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