This morning I absolutely lost it.
Maybe it was because I still couldn't find my house keys.
Maybe it was because I was late in getting up and frustrated that I would have to spend the entire day arguing with stupid cnuts (First Great Western, Natwest, our HR department)
Maybe it was just because it was a Monday.
For whatever reason, I don't know, but something inside me just snapped.
I thought to myself for the hundredth time "where the fuck have I put these fucking keys...?"
And I just looked up at the ceiling and thought of the day I was about to have and I just screamed and grabbed the book case.
And I picked up my CD racks and just threw them across the room.
And then I smashed the laundry basket against the cupboard and kicked the bookshelf again.
You then look at the chaos you've created and then regret it and cry a little and then slam the door as hard as you can and leave.
I took these pictures this evening when I got home.
It wasn't anger I felt but crushing, acrid frustration.
Frustration that I heard on the radio that there were massive delays on the Tube. Frustrated that it was raining and that the weather was shit.
All the things that you have no control over that seem to gang up all at once and conspire to fuck your day up.
I don't know what came over me but fuck it.
The black bag's been out and I have been throwing a whole load of shit away instead of tidying it up.
Sometimes you have to smash things to fix them.
Like when you've just typed a 5,000 word e-mail and your computer crashes and you lose everything. In a flash you consider hurling the fucking thing across the room but then think of the consequences.
Sometimes you just have to give in to the feeling, let it go flying into the wall and watch the whole thing explode into twenty thousand pieces.
I know tomorrow's going to be a better day.
Monday 21 January 2008
Falling down
Written by Bobby Vanquish at around 21:12
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14 comments:
But the stock market in your country is plummeting. So that is good for your potential investment when things hit rock bottom. You'll make a good chunk of change then!
So it wasn't all a bad day.
Anon: I am going to put on my speedo, oil myself up and come and give you a big sloppy kiss and a hug because I'd forgotten that actually there was one good thing today and you've just reminded me of it.
Yep - when the FTSE goes tits up it means that cash drains from emerging markets which in turn pushes their currencies up and fucks them. This translated means that when I checked on Friday the Pound was 12 to 1 to the South African Rand (emerging market).
The massive stock tumble today means the Rand has slid a massive 2 Rand to the pound and is now at 14 to 1. If we have another day like today it could well slide again pushing it to 15 or 16 to 1. That would basically mean that I would have South African Rand to burn for my holiday! So there has been some good news! If the Rand slides to 18 to one against the pound I will have a wank to celebrate.
You really know how to have a Queenie Hiss Fit in style.
My flat didn't look much better than this earlier after I tore it apart trying to find a prescription I needed.
How about a readers bedroom post like the eyes thing - wonder what that says about people - leather sheets and a sling in the corner would worry me.
My friend's apartment looks a lot like that, only worse.
Sadly, she didn't have a fit and throw things around. She's just messy.
Fleet: Maybe a reader's rooms things would be fun. I bet there is at least one person who has rubber sheets and a sling in the corner. Who doesn't?
Steven: Haha, snap! I once had a roommate who's room looked like that. And he also never had a hissy fit but was, instead, a pig. Nice.
I had a shit day yesterday as well. According to 2 different people at work, it was also officially the most depressing day of the year (last monday of the longest financial month, summer still a long way off, monday morning etc etc.) So your not alone.
Next we can look forward to mid february wich is the time of year with more suicides than any other.
Why they dont coincide is due to the fact that most suicides are carried out as people are on there way out of a depression.
Hope that cheers you up
fuck me. is this the aftermath of alcohol and sweet depravation? you'd probably make good money as a demolition man at a construction site right now.
How can you treat such fine furniture that way? The sawdust and glue construction of Ikea furnishings deserve more respect, please.
Not being mean but why do you live in such a small room with IKEA furniture if you earn £51k pa. What do you do with your money?
Loving the blog ;-)
W: I can SO bet that yesterday was the most depressing day. There was a moment when I thought that my life was jinxed. Thank fuck it's over now.
With the February suicide thing in mind, that is why I have always booked my holidays for February. I find them the worst months, hence going away to sun and sand to escape. February in Cape Town is always the hottest. A few weeks ago I offered peeps the chance to come, if they could climb into my suitcase. The offer still stands, yeah?
Gabriel: That is the result of trying to find my keys, a Monday morning and the knowledge that I am about to have an utterly shit day.
Besides, the furniture started arguing with me. It had it coming..
Bolt: I'm embarrassed that you can spot it's Ikea. My bedroom is a shrine to Ikea. The great thing is that you can lose your rag, smash everything up and then it only costs about a fiver to replace everything. Brilliant!
Anon: Haha - that's a question I ask myself repeatedly. That is only looking through the door. You can't see behind the door. It isn't that small - it just looks a complete tip because of the mess. And how do you know what I earn??
And finally - I know this is a bit of cop-out but it's Tuesday evening and I need to go to bed.
So hence I haven't had a chance to write anything.
Can I just say though that I am really chuffed sometimes that people read my blog. I do it because I enjoy it and sometimes I have things on my chest that I want to air.
I am so appreciative that there is someone out there who takes an interest. Even though it is completely fleeting.
The comments and e-mails mean a lot which is why I feel a bit bad that you've taken the time to pop in to say hi and I haven't done anything.
Thanks for the support and for reading.
I am going to curl up in bed with my book and try to get a good night's sleep. The last two days have actually been completely shit and I've kinda totally lost my sense of humour.
I know tomorrow I am going to find it again.
Thanks again for stopping. I really appreciate it (says he while listening to Pink Floyd!)
Well, the sliding rand essentially makes your Randy then?
Carl
I think you'll find your sense of humour under the book case if you look hard enough. :)
I was the one who told you about the stock market dropping as well being good news.
Carl
Excellent pictures. I would love to just throw a fit and break things, but I'm totally OCD and would get really annoyed with myself. In saying that, my room is a tip, but thats from lack of storage. Somehow, I can be totally OCD about some things, like making sure my lunch box is sqaured with my position at the table and that if I have things like yogurts I have two for symmetry and my carton of milk is sitting at the midline of my lunch space (unless I have two smaller ones, again fro symmetry) yet I can ignore the mess that I can't do anything about.
Blue monday (as it's referred to) is over and the days are getting noticeably longer and well, it feels mild and almost spring like today. Of course you've got SA to look forward to. My ex moved back there last year and I spoke to him on sunday after he'd just got back from clifton 3, so you've got LOTS to look forward to :)
g
Hey stranger!
Wow...lash out much? hehe...Well at least you got it out of your system and not have it well up inside and then explode it on someone else.
So how have you really been? :)
Bry
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