After The Hell on Thursday and your comments, I realised that one beer or one Mars bar ice cream is really not going to transform me from how I am now into a big, fat lumping heffer.
So I have just stuffed my face with this and it tasted like fucking heaven...
Of course today it's raining.
This is because yesterday in London it was fucking warm. A beautiful day. After the pleasure there is always the pain.
Anyway, because Saturday was so lovely we did the first Soho Square rendezvous of the season.
Soho Square around lunchtime in the sun.
Because it was the first meeting of the season and because I was with friends who were mostly straight (except for one lesbionika) I let myself have one beer.
After a few hours of chatting and reading the paper I start to feel guilty (about the beer) so I leave.
By that stage someone had gone to the Sainsbury's on Charing Cross Road and had come back with about 3 sixpacks of Corona so I have no doubt that the others stayed behind and got absolutely and completely twatted in the sun.
They're straight and that's what straight people and a lesbian do.
On the way home via the gym I get a message from Gareth. "What you up to tonight? New night at Area tonight. Heard it should be fun."
I let him down gently.
At the gym I spot Rory.
(If you can't be bothered to read the history, it is that Rory is a hot guy at the gym who I was going to marry but I stumbled upon him wanking in the showers once and it totally put me off him. But that's in the past now.)
So I'm walking to the water cooler and I see Rory walking towards me. I catch his eye and he mine. And as we walk past each other we both go "hiya" and brush against each other.
It's so hot. There's a moment and chemisty. I am so going to get him.
I have done and said this over and over but the next time I see him, I am going to say something more.
There's a serious history here, so much so that at one point I was debating whether to slip Rory a note with my mobile number on it.
That was November last year. So much has not changed!
Come on Bobby - you have nothing to lose. Just do it. Thanks.
Anyway, on the way to Tottenham Court Road tube station from Soho Square I spot the following poster on an Evening Standard newspaper stall...
Now I don't like to talk politics but...
Just incase you were unsure, on May 1 Londoners have to vote for a new mayor. The three above are the main candidates.
Seeing that poster made me think.
So I did some remodelling...
It's lame and blunt, I know.
Okay, this is the last time we do politics on this blog. I'm going to gym.
Hmm... actually before I go. I think this post is lame. It's lame lame duck, lame Georgey Bush-o-lame, lame like a house on rubber stilts.
Sometimes when it comes to a blog, you just can't get it up! This is one of those times.
So let's resort to an old favourite - the quiz.
Here's the hypothesis:
"The guy on the left is straight and while on the guy on the right is gay, he is definitely not interested in you. But the future of the world depends on you screwing one of them. So, who'd you do?"
12 comments:
Guy on the left - apart from having a cuter face - we can't see the dodgy shoes he is wearing - reminds me of those checked trousers you see the like of chefs like Gary Rhodes and short order chefs in chain pubs wearing. If either of them are going spare I dont mind sloppy seconds on this occaision.
Hey...what is that little building in the park?
The one on the left is the hottest of the two. And if the future of the world depends on me screwing one of them, I guess it is time to start saying your prayers and get ready for the end of the world because there is no way either of them would let me near them.
I'd do the straight guy on the left..there's nothing sexier than the thought of a tryst with a straight guy you could never have..
the gay guy on the right kinda looks like Marco Dapper so I'm tempted but my self-worth would never allow me to "do" someone who's not interested in me..
aaah---but Marco Dapper..now he's a god..I'd do him any day (yeah, I know I'm a slut..haha!)..too bad he's straight though..
~Origo
FC says:
Obviously, the guy on the left. I have nothing the guy on the right wants. Of course being "old", with one foot in the grave, I don't have anything the cutie on the left would want either.
Wait, unless he is one of your straight friends from the park and he drank all 3 of the 6-packs by himself.
I’ll go talk to sweetie. After all he is all about world peace and harmony. There may be hope for the world yet.
Fleet: Yeah so my answer would be the one on the left. Mainly because with someone who's completely turned off, it's total crap. But with a straight boy, at least you can show them things their girlfriends would never do.
They may actually enjoy it.
And please! Everyone... the one on the left, I don't know if he's gay or straight. For the sake of our game we'll pretend but - that's not to say he is. Anyway...
Timmy: I dunno what that building it. It's just always been there. I dunno if it was once toilets or a bar or something but it's been boarded up for a while.
Does anyone know what it used to be??
Origo: I am going to have to look up this Marco Dapper.
...
Oh wow yes. He's HOT. Thanks for that!
Anon: It's all about the booze and world peace. Your ethics are totally in the right place.
Good answer.
i'd drug the guy on the left, use his hotness to tempt the guy on the right and then screw both in the most mind blowingly hot 24 hour orgy. does that work?
a) I think the building in the middle of Soho Square is the maintenance guy's hut, where tools etc are kept
b) I'd take the guy with the smaller willy between the two, so that I don't feel inadequate about mine (which is just shameful to be honest)
I'd be doing the straight boy! They always push back more! ;-)
Dick: Yeah, I guess... sort of. That's a bit like borrowing money from the bank when you're playing Monopoly. It's not really allowed according to the rules of the game but everyone does it in the end.
Timmy: See - London P has the answer about the Tudor shed. We should have checked Wikipedia cos there it says it's a gardener's hut. Bingo!
London P: I'm going to write point two down and file it in my folder for future reference.
Monty: I don't get that?!
And this must end now cos it's all got smutty and I don't understand much of it. This is because I don't have sex and lead a totally virtuous and saint-like existence.
So the choice is between 2 guys who dont fancy you. hmmmm, i say the one on the right, becuase he is gay he would probably be open to getting drugged up to the eye-balls and therfore would be easier to break.
The two guys look so similar. If forced to choose though I'd pick the guy on the left with the nice square jaw....
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