An offer you can't refuse

Yeah, so that's a bit irritating.

My housemate's decided to buy a house. Well, she decided to do this a few months ago but her mortgage has now been approved.

She's moving to Surbiton (yeah, 30 years old and moving to Surbiton a.k.a. the place where old people go to die...)

This means that I'm going to have to either:
a/ find a one-bedroomed flat to live in or
b/ find someone else to move in

At the moment I am veering towards option 'B'.

This is because the place I am in is probably one of the nicest houses in London. It is part carpeted and part wooden-floors in a posh area of North London which has cable, a dishwasher, a guest loo and a terrace with two vacuous gays who live below.

What more could you want?

So if you want to share with a batty gay (that's me) then send me an e-mail.

In our house we also have nice vases of flowers sometimes and the couch is very comfortable and we have flush lighting in the ceiling.

And there is a very swish bathroom and the it's a zhuzh area. Plus my gym is nearby and, hello! All human light can be found in our house.

In part I am quite excited by the prospect of finding someone else to live with (what if they're a total muffin) but on the other hand it's a bit of a pain.

Oh yeah, and our landlord is an artist so lends us his art. Currently there is a quarter of a million pound's worth of art in our house. Another plus.

We also have loads of DVDs and ... yadda yadda. I have completely sold it, I think. Please form an orderly queue.

And!

Did I mention that you get the one-in-a-lifetime chance to live with me?

During the week we can gym together and on Fridays we will go out to one of the myriad of great eaterys that litter the place. Over the weekend we can go cruising in the Audi or sit at home and watch DVDs. Or do more gym. Or go to the nearby mall and just hang.

This sounds like the perfect life to me.

I don't wank in front of the TV (in polite company), I don't wee in the basin but sometimes I do walk around in my underwear.

Here I have provided three pictures that will show you the complete picture of our house.

First, look at the bedroom cupboard handles.

Aren't they nice?

Then there are the other doors. And the carpet and the bannisters. Tidy and neat.

And then there is the dishwasher. And please note the homely dishcloths.

A tour of the dungeon is thrown in for those seriously wanting to have a look around.