Club me

Party with some colleagues and friends. Then to the Thames to watch the fireworks.

Then some club in Vauxhall (Juicy at Area) where met other people and danced until about 6am.

I am not going to admit this publicly but between you and me, I really enjoyed Area. The music was amazing, I had two club boyfriends* and get this - I ran into a guy who I went to junior school with in Cape Town more than 15 years ago!

Here's a grainy picture of me with some stupid lumo thing in my mouth.

Others decided to go to Horse Meat Disco but the name always puts me off so I went home.

Before all that wankey New Year crap I did some shopping.

And on the second floor of Selfridges I fell in love.

This is my all-consuming obsession now until I have them (or until some nice, lovely, beautiful, thoughtful and caring person, i.e. you, buys them for me.)

Please can we all just admire these.

Are they not the most beautiful sunglasses you have ever seen in your life?

Just to let you know that they're Prada and they have my name written all over them.

I'm sorry to be so gay and obsess over sunglasses but they really are beautiful.

And here's the bit that makes me cry. Well, I can't actually say the words without welling up...

Instead I'll just say it one word. £210 (or $430).

Okay, this is getting really gay so I'm going to stop.

* = a club boyfriend is someone who you see in the club that you like. Then you dance near them and they near you. And then they start accidentally bumping into you.

Then a quiet bit of the song comes on and you turn around and smile at them and then you both suck each other's faces off while thinking "this is the most beautiful guy in the whole entire world - I am going to spend the rest of my life with them."

As the song goes fast again and you dance together a bit more and then you say you need the loo and they smile and they go to get some water and then when you spot each other again you pretend like you've never seen each other one in your life before.

I think in one evening you can't have more than 3 club boyfriends because then you'll just look slaggy / desperate / a loser.

I've yet to end up going home with a club boyfriend but I have to say I'm not too sure of the protocol on this.

And also, is it rude to ignore your friends and spend the evening with your new boyfriend? Introducing the two is formalising it a little too much.

Actually, I think it's best to leave all club boyfriends for the dancefloor because it's just much easier. As soon as friends and quiet corners of the club are involved, things just get complicated.