It's New Year's Eve.
Yes, I made resolutions. I know that's a bit sad.
Last year my resolutions were:
1/ To never wear a pair of socks with holes in them.
Done.
2/ To not incur ANY unnecessary bank charges i.e. interest fees (I bounce my credit cards from one 0% introductory offer to another) or overdraft fines etc.
Done.
With those two done, I guess that means it's been a good year.
I am going to have to think of some resolutions for 2008.
I suppose one of them is going to have to be to buy more clothes. And maybe go to the cinema more.
Actually - do you want to know what's really going on?
Well, I thought that Tuesday was New Year's Eve and Wednesday was January 1. So this morning I woke up with a bit of a shock.
As I write I have the washing machine on, the dishwasher on, bags of rubbish in the hall, the vacuum cleaner's out etc. Basically I have one day to sort everything out.
This is wankey I know but I reckon you can't take anything from the old year into the new.
So empty your bins and clean and just do everything you've been meaning to do as if today is your last, which it technically is.
Now, the washing machine's ending and it needs a new load and I have to carry on tidying up and throwing away and ohmygod my existence is so mundane.
I think to counter that, tonight I'm going to hang around in a sling in a Vauxhall sex club and wait for 40 hairy sweaty bears to come and invade like Poland.
Happy New Year, champagne, kiss-kiss, bla bla whatever.
(Disclaimer: I do not go to sex clubs in Vauxhall or anywhere else. And I don't hang around in slings. And hairy bears aren't my type. And I'm a top anyway. Okay, too much information. I'm going.)
Monday, 31 December 2007
Wash, rinse, repeat
Written by Bobby Vanquish at around 09:49
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7 comments:
Being mundane is better than being invaded like Poland!
Yes yes...u just saying that about the sex club to throw off any scents...but deep down you know you can't deny the fact that you have the leather furniture polish out and it aint for your sofa but that little skimpy number you bought on sale at Topshop on boxing day....right???
Funny, I just saw your film review and I realised that I am doing a sad night in with The Simpsons so I hope it worth it!
Have a smashing evening and Good Luck with your adventures in the New Year!
Don't be a top. Be versatile - it's waaaay more fun!
You can come over and clean my apartment when you're finished there Bobby!
Happy New Year
x
Brechi: Yeah, having the entire German army up your arsenal would be pretty painful!
Seahorse: The Simpsons is cool. You'll love it - and drink some (lots of) champagne for me.
Aaron: When the right guy comes along etc. etc.
Wayne: It would be my pleasure. And don't worry about asking - yes, I will bring rubber gloves.
I don't know why you deleted the video post. I had it on my reader and that's where I saw it. I was funnnnyyyy!!
Dervish: I had cold feet about the video. It is slightly outrageous and I'm always wary that stuff you post on the net will come back to haunt you when you least want it to. THanks for finding it funny but unfortunately it's been put back into my box of tricks.
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