I said that for the month of January I was not going to drink booze. A lot of people do it, I decided to give it a try.
It's not yet the 5th of January yet but...
Oh god, I am so desperate for a beer or a glass of wine, it's killing me.
I was in Covent Garden earlier and someone was stood in front of me at the ATM with a beer in their hand. I want so badly to do a smash and sip.
Fuck knows how I am going to last the whole month? Well, I didn't know until I came up with a genuis plan.
Instead of drinking, I'll do a virtual version of it.
So I went to our wine cellar (the rack in the corner of the lounge) and pulled out some of our best vintages and had one big lick-off.
To start I thought we'd have a liquer.
A South African staple, this is Amarula. The "legend" is that it's lion's shit mixed at midnight by elephants or something. Whatever.
It's a great way to unplug a session of pretend drinking.
Next we lick the 2007 Spier Chardonnay.
Apparently this wine has "rich citrus aromas that follow through to a smooth, elegant palate with a creamy lime aftertaste."
Yes, I got all of that. Yummy.
Here's our next tasting... a Boschendal 1995 Shiraz.
Apparently this is "amazingly spicy and full of smoky red fruit flavours."
Oh whatever.
This is silly.
I have put the wine down because it's of no use. It doesn't taste the same. I have to make it to January 30th without touching any booze.
Not for you, not for the off-licence but for me.
If I can last to January 30th without a drop to drink it will be the longest period without alcohol since I was about 17 years old.
Actually do you know, this has nothing to do with alcohol but everything to do with discipline.
It's about making a plan and sticking to it.
On February 1st I am going on the biggest booze-bender ever.
So on the morning of February 2nd not only will I have a terrible hang-over but I'll be the smug, self-satisfied cunt with a hangover.
On a completely separate note - has anyone got any cigarettes? There's no moritorium on them. Yet.
Friday, 4 January 2008
0% alcohol
Written by Bobby Vanquish at around 22:06
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17 comments:
Well I nicked a packet of dunhills from a mate. However they are menthol and half gone.
I'm starting to see a link between my last few comments.
Oliver: That's great. I only smoke menthols because I can't smoke anything that tastes like its a cigarette so those are perfect.
Dunhill or Marlboro? Whatever, anything will do.
Mmmm... yummy.
Does inhaling the fumes help?
That's a horrible abuse of a good shiraz.
Steven: So smelling the fumes doesn't count. But it's a huge waste of good wine (that I'm going to binge on in February) were I to open the bottles, just to sniff them. Maybe I will go into bars and order a glass, just to smell.
Willy: Wait till you see the pics I haven't yet posted! And there was an earthy Merlot involved too! ;-)
Just another entry into the lost your mind file...I think that you should let yourself drink, given how much discipline it takes to sculpt your body
Then again, just tell yourself the booze is calories you just don't need, that might help.
You know when in some movies there's a slow motion and the hero is trying to save someone and screams "nooooooooooooooo!" but his voice is slowed down and sounds like a demon's lament?
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Please don't abandon booze. Do it for me. I take it as a personal offence.
However, if you make it, I swear right now, on here, that I'll stop drinking for an entire... week? Can't do more than that. That's my promise. Please drink. Please take a sip. Beer tastes so good... like a gentle caress behind your head.
I'm drunk right now, as you can imagine.
I don't know... Bill Clinton said he smoked a joint, but he didn't inhale, so maybe he agrees with you that smelling it doesn't count.
Carl
So BV, if you make it to 30th Jan without booze, and you go on the piss on 1st Feb, what you gonna being doing on 31st Jan? Maybe it's best if we don't know LOL.
GB xxx
catch the flu or something. Trust me it really puts you off the booze and fags.
shave gawddammit....or you fasting in that dept aswell?
ahoj
BV, we have the Amarula too. Xfe brought it back from one of his visits, from whence I know not where. Though he hasn't been to Africa recently. However Elephants are his favourite.
I once stopped drinking for 3 months plus. I went down to 10.5 stone and never lusted for a chilled glass of white wine once. But once I started again, well, I never stopped.
ahoj
Splicer: All I do is tell myself that booze makes you fat and I can't bear to touch it. In six week I will be on a beach. I absolutely cannot drink!
Andrea: I have had a drink nearly every day for the last ten years. I want to see if I can go for just ONE month without doing it. I've done a week and it's been difficult... I have to see what it's like. Just one month - out of 240.
Carl: Clinton's theory is the one I was vaguely working from...!
GB: I dunno how I am going to hold out to the end of January - it's not been nearly a week without a drink and I'm doing okay. Apparently the first week is always the most difficult. We'll see...
CSS: Oh god - something like gastro is really great for your 3weight. It peels off!
Seahorse: I don't shave when I don't have to go to work.
Czech: It's originally from South Africa - but you can even get it in the Sainsbury's now I'm told.
I am lusting after alcohol too - as you can see!
I drink tomato juice that I boil down myself instead of the alcohol. MMMMMMMM! Much healthier....
I have 1000 (well 960 now) duty free Marlboro lights at home (i buy in bulk abroad coz I refuse to pay £6/pack). Good luck with the booze, your a better man than me, personally I dont think ive gone so much as a week with out a drink since I was 15. i keep telling myself that my liver is evil and must be punished.
Anon: Tomato juice like liquidised Heinz soup.
Edd,d: Its been fucken difficult but there's nothing nicer than waking up in the morning without a hangover. Try it at least ONCE! (and I know i sound like an old woman but... fuck it)
I am a fucken old woman. My tits are saggy and if it weren't the nappies i'd be pissing myself.
saggy tits? wonderbra! solved.
champagne? corenza c! solved.
full of shit? phychiatrist! solved.
verstaan jy skat? lol
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