So thanks

The weird thing is that you don't really know who I am.

You may think you do, but you don't. And I guess I don't really know you either.

I have this silly page and I write stuff and some of it is a little self indulged and other times maybe it's a little crap.

Occasionally though, I wrote something and it connects with you , it doesn't happen often, but it's then that I see the point to all of this.

I wrote that missive about wishing I was normal and thanks for the comments. But before they arrived I got three e-mails that I wanted to share.

The first one comes from someone anonymous but who lives in London.

"hey bobby
i read ur blog and don't put comments but I wanted to write after what you wrote today.
please don't put this on ur blog cos I am 24 in London and I..."

So that's where I should end it but, let's call him Aaron. Aaron goes on for 3,000 words (jeez Louise!) about how he too is unhappy about his weight and what he thinks he looks like etc.

I wrote back to him, and I said I would say this on here but Aaron...

Put the chocolate down. Just kidding!

No, just do it now.

There will be times when you're sitting in the gym change-room alone, with your head in your hands and you may cry a little in despair but know that in the end you will feel so much better.

Know that I have been there and I have sat on alone on that bench too, but I did it.

Looking good naked is not the be-all and end-all but it helps.

And one-day someone will say to you "you have a great body" and don't be smug or arrogant but just say thanks and smile. And your mind's eye, give them a big hug and say another thank you. And think to yourself "if you only knew half the story!"

Then I get a second e-mail which begins "don't want to put this in the public posts" but I hope he'll forgive me for doing some cutting and pasting.

"I just have lived through exactly what you are now.  But I did it in another city 15 years earlier.

I'm older than you and there is still a lot colliding inside.  It's what makes life....whatever you make it.

This e-mail makes me realise that there was someone sat on that bench before I got there. Sitting there too with their head in their hands.

And the baton just gets passed and all the shit from one generation transfers to the next. And perhaps there is no normal ever.

It's all just fucked but at least amongst all this crap we can feel a bit better knowing there's someone out there who's feeling the same thing too.

There are others who did too and they got through it all okay.

What I mean is, I know this is just a silly blog but there are times when you've helped me (whoever you are) and there are times when maybe I've written something that has helped you too. So thanks.

And cos I'm feeling soppy I am going to quote Celine Cuisine:

Everywhere I go, all the places that I’ve been
Every smile's a new horizon on a land I’ve never seen
There are people around the world -
Different faces different names
But there's one true emotion that
reminds me we're the same...
And the third e-mail?

It just says "your'e not pathetic bobby. i reckon you're fucking awesome."

Yeah - same to you. All of you.

x