Back in London. Fucked. Not drunk but fucked.
Was up at 5am. The driver has just dropped me off now. That by my count is a 19-hour day. On days like this all I think about is the overtime slip in my salary statement.
Fuckers. No gym for two days at least. I will panic about this tomorrow after lunch.
On the plane back (just me, bored) wandered if tossing one off in the loo means you're able to join the Mile High Club?
Have you ever tried to wank in the toilets onboard an airplane? Don't bother. You can't.
By my guesstimation, it's probably the least sexy place in the entire world. I bet they design them to be like that. Noisy, cold with an unflattering mirror.
Have decided I need to put that on my list of "things to have accomplished in life."
Though what constitutes joining the Mile High Cub?
I have set the bar at "a blow job."
This is based on the same principle applied to alcohol. That is, one in the air = two on the ground.
I.e. a blow job in the air is twice as filthy. Therefore in the air it equals full-on interaction. Advice /experience in this is issue would be greatly welcome. Obviously.
I can see this developing into a full-scale operation. Not getting laid in the sky but a full-on blog post.
Can I can barely keep my eyes open.
Instead I will go to bed.
Lying there is a whole lot nicer than standing in some cold cubicle with your pants around your ankles trying to rouse yourself while staring at a sign that says "personal sanitary disposal."
Actually. Speaking of which...
In a food commercial, do you know how they get the food to steam in order to make it look hot and scrumptious?
You take a tampon, dip it in water, stick it in the microwave for three minutes and then hide it behind whatever it is you want the steam to rise from.
If you were imagining me lying in bed with my aussieBums around my ankles wanking, I bet that's brought you to earth with a thump.
Mwhaha...
I'm rambling now so I'm going to go.
I've been sitting on my and and it's gone numb. Great - it's going to feel like someone else is doing it to me tonight.
Seeya!
Friday 28 March 2008
Fasten your buckle
Written by Bobby Vanquish at around 00:29
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4 comments:
I learn so much from reading your blog! :-) How about a pic of those Aussiebums around your ankles?
If a blowjob in the sky is twice as filthy, what are three and five times as filthy? Hmmm? I think readers need to ideate but not send in pictures. Ewww.
Actually, when we (people like me who make tv commercials) do steam, we just put it in in post production. It's done with computers.
But we do use incense for barbeque smoke while filming. It doesn't burn the hero food. And I guess if it brings back memories of being an altar boy, well that's probably the five times as kinky blowjob, innit?
Timmy: Yes, alright. If we must, we must...
Gimme a sec though, I've just got in from work.
Auctor: Yes, imagine is better than image.
(And to everyone else - apologies that this is going to get tecchy but...)
How the hell do you add steam in post-prod? You can't CSO / chroma it? Unless it's done on set it'll look odd. We've always used a steaming tampon. You can't do steam on an Avid because it's transparent. So what about the background?
Some steam is natural to the food and it shows up and then we enhance it. I have used hoses with a clothes steamer attached to it with the end of the pipe, behind and out of view.
The weirdest thing recently was boiling sausage in Marmite to make it brown. I'll send you a photo via email.
Generally the post house we use I think uses a combination of Flame and Inferno, software from Autodesk Corp. Click the link below and then look at the links to the right....click the "Watch our best of show reel". It's really cool.
Most shots I have with steam in them last only 1-2 seconds since a typical :30 has 15 cuts in it. I think if we were on the shot longer it would be more demanding of looking real.
And I'd probably need a Tampon.
link;
http://usa.autodesk.com/adsk/servlet/index?id=5562722&siteID=123112
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