Firstly, I just wanna say that about two metres above my head, this thing is hanging...
If it fucking falls on me, I will scream the likes of which you may hear. Particularly if you live more than 5,000 miles from here.
So...
Tomorrow I get onto an airplane and fly back to London. It doesn't feel like it's been three weeks.
I guess I need to tie up a few loose ends and bring this whole thing to an end.
Holidays to Cape Town are a lot of emotion, issue-busting and alcohol. This will now be the fifth time I have been.
A lot of the things that have been percolating under the surface of my life, which I have now put to rest.
I came here to chop down shit and clear a path for me to aim for my 30s. I am ready for them come June, when I turn 30.
Five years ago I left South Africa with a warped sense of my own self, a naive view of the world and some money.
Today I go confidently, self-assured and with no money. God help me until Friday a.k.a. payday.
Anyway.
So here comes the part where I pack all my shit back into a box and prepare to head back home. This is the moment where everything turns from reality into a happy memory.
Remember Paul? He texted me on Saturday afternoon to see what I was doing / ask if I'd like to go around to his.
I texted back the following:
"Hey.
The time we spent together was great and thanks for the offer but I am not interested.
I fly back to the UK shortly so good luck and best wishes.
Bobby"
The other loose end I have to tie up ends slightly differently.
I thought about posting something on Sunday night but I just didn't feel it was right to. Not for the other guy's sake but for mine.
There's not much else I want to say on the topic and I am not going to go into any detail but Drew and I spent Saturday night together. You may remember Drew from here.
The story is as simple as it is complicated.
It wasn't planned but somewhere within me, I kinda knew it was going to happen.
When it becomes a memory I will exploit it and tell you everything. For now though, I'm just keeping it close.
I know that sounds so pansy-ish but that's where it is and that's where I want it to stay for a while.
And so this holiday comes to an end. I keep telling myself I have to leave to come back again.
My heart is a little heavy but then that's what happens when you're on holiday and everything is easy.
I am almost packed, ready to head back to the UK.
I really have had the time of my life.
Monday 10 March 2008
Hamba gahle
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13 comments:
Sitting here on the other side of the pond and reading about your holiday, I will say that it sounds like you had a good time. And wow! Mentioning Drew AND Paul in the same post.
Safe travels back to the UK. (and for some reason you now have me humming the song from Dirty Dancing..."I had the time of my life...")
You don't want to go into it because you bottomed. It's ok. It happens to the best of us.
Have a safe trip back ot the UK :)
Why did you turn down Paul?
Amazing post. You're now one of them there grown ups, you know.
Everything suddenly gets all these special textures.
Sweet.
glad you found some closure. seems like our little boy is becoming a man. as for drew all i will say is i knew it, i knew it, i knew it! i say you buy that picasso, take him home, and hang him on your wall. he'd be the perfect souvenir.
Timmy: I have had a great time and it all has a nice ending so I like that. And I won't accept the blame for you having DDancing stuck in your head :-)
Steven: Not only that - but we dressed up in latext and behaved like depraved leather sex pigs until 9am the next morning. There was Crisco dripping off the walls. (Writing that has made me feel a little queasy)
Drew (the other one!): Thanks - it can't be any worse than the flight here so....
Jon C: On a practical level: I was a bit drunk and didn't want to drive. I was also with someone who I wanted to be more with, it took Paul nearly a week to call me back AND - I bet once I said no, he logged onto Gaydar and found a friend to interact with.
Auctor: Yeah - that's how I feel. It's nearly my 30th and I finally feel like a grown-up.
dick: I would love to be able to pack Drew up and put him in my suitcase. He would love London. Sadly though I think he would die in the aircraft hold. I am going to have to think of another way to seize him and take him with me.
the heart always gets heavy when you leave home. i always get that feeling when i get on a plane back to sydney after a visit to my family overseas. have a safe flight :)
Thanks for an amazing series of posts over your holiday - it has been great reading and I get the impression you have buried a few demons as well as having a lot of fun. Good luck with Drew. He sounds like a sweetie. And welcome back to the UK... (ps. It's raining. Sorry.)
you could put him in a very large kennel. that way he could breath. plus that would set the tone that you are his lord and master and that you may do with him as you please.
Bow chicka bow wow!
Well, that's the thing, isn't it? You always kind of know that it's gonna happen sometime...
I'm just curious about the spider...is that a particularly nasty venomous you'll die-if-it-bites-you kind of spider? Or is it just a general creepy-crawly kind of speider?
Gabriel: Thanks man. I'm back at work on the day I get back so the heavy heart will leave pretty quickly, I reckon.
AA: Thanks for reading and I hope you've enjoyed. Drew is lovely and - I wouldn't call him sweet, but I think the miles apart are going to dilute anything we may have had. Oh well, c'est la vie.
I'm glad I had the moment though. That counts for a lot.
Dick: Having in a kennel sounds like fun!
Pete: Yeah, it's that feeling in your gut. When you just know that you're going to get around to doing it, it's only a matter of time.
Scot: I don't think they're nasty at all but they are fucking big and I hate them. I think this one is called a Hunstman spider. That's what it looks like on the wallcharts and I seem to think that in South Africa they're called something else!? I dunno... I just know they're non-aggressive and they bother me.
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