Urgh.
So look who I spot in the Sainsbury's this afternoon.
It's Them, doing a little shoppy-woppy.
They didn't recognise me because I did an about-turn as soon as I saw Them.
Though naturally I still stalked Them around the cold meat and poultry aisle, of course.
Here we see one of Them lunging for the discount chicken. So sensible.
The one in the fleece is Tommy, who I'd not seen before and I have to admit that he is quite attractive.
Well, attractive if you like ordinary clean-cut types in sensible clothing. Check out the sensible fleece he's wearing.
I'm going to use the word sensible over and over because that's what they are. Sensible, careful, dull.
And look at the sensible re-usable Sainsbury's bag on the back of the trolley. Who the fuck ever uses that silly hook on the back of the trolley?
Only sensible people.
And as for those ridiculous reusable bags - like not using ten plastic bags is going to help the environment and save the fucking polar bears.
So by night they sit, like stunned mullets, in front of Catherine Tate and during the day they hang out in the Whole Chicken section at the local supermarket.
And that's where this post ends because I can't be bothered with any more of their sensible-ness.
But you're welcome to finish it off. Please leave a comment or send me an e-mail with how you think this post should end and I will post the best one.
So you get the chance to write my blog. This is an offer you cannot (or I won't let you) turn down.
12 comments:
I'm curious.
What would that U.S. $20 bill buy you in London if you spent is as is in American Dollars?
Also, what would the amount "it took to buy it in your currency" buy you there in London?
Lastly, what would $20 in your money buy you in London?
Carl
Carl: Yes.
The questions you're asking relate to this post here.
And I've stuck the answers to your questions in a comment there. Otherwise it gets confusing. Yah?
i know quite a few people that are exceptionally 'civil' and 'environmental' (which is what i like to call people that have nothing else going for them in life). typically they perform the follow actions religiously and like to talk about it subsequently:
1. meticulously sorting their trash into plastics [some even divide them into the various types of plastic, polyurethane, polyvinylchloride, etc] and papers for recycling
2. monitoring their compost bin like it's the fucking holy grail
3. using and forcing others to use public transport even where there's a better alternative than having to sit in a crowded train for 2 hours
essentially, the people i know generally have their heads far up their arses. or that their heads are too inflated that they aren't able to fit it through the door to the real world.
You know you've got a stalking problem when... they start following you around.
They may only be buying a whole frozen chicken to make buying so much Crisco and Gloves plausable. Have you ever thought of that?
And then if they have to spend money on a chicken might as well get a cheap one.
I fail to see why gay men would care to save the earth for future generations. What is the point?
Honey, have you seen my keys to the giant SUV? Let's go to the airport to take a transcontinental flight. While we're away, just leave the lights on so they think we're home.
And turn up the pool heater in case my sister stops by.
Thanks.
It's interesting your neighbour's life, etc. But we're (at least I am) interested also in your life and feelings.
How are you lately?
did you ever consider that their sense and sensibility masks a pair of hardcore sadomasochists? that they secretly have a room full of torture devises they use on each other? that they merely play catherine tate to drown out the sounds of they're screams of pain and pleasure? and that as you read this they are coming up behind you to take you to their dungeon and you will never be heard from again......
6h leave them alone, they seem like nice enough people. I use a nice muslin Waitrose reusable bag myself!! :-)
Ade
I heard that pool heaters really jack up the electric bills too. My sister was living with someone who had a pool and she said it was outrageous.
I kind of agree with the auctor. I found out that we are forced where I live to recycle every week. But that they sort the stuff out and keep 10% of it and 90% of what I turn in to them goes to a landfill. Now tell me that you salvage 90% and we can talk about saving the planet and the importance of recycling then.
People continue to buy their lattes in cups and eat out with food wrapped in things produced from oil, etc. It's insane to calculate the waste etc. and impossible to control at this point by turning off you lights when you leave a room etc. At the same time the rainforests are continuing to be annialiated at record pace. Soon the polar bears will have no home. :(
I'll be sitting at Starbucks drinking my ice latte looking out the window and a polar bear will walk by in 90 degree weather. Then, I'll say, Oh, I gotta remember to recycle this cup.
Carl
It think they are being sensible so as not to attract attention to themselves. Now that you're onto them, you will disappear within days unless you heed my warning: they are part of a secret society that runs most of the world's trade relations from behind closed doors and deals exclusively in frozen chicken parts as international currency. They had been to six other grocers that day, making identical purchases (the other items are to throw you off). Be warned Vanquish, your superhero powers may be called upon at any time to thwart their sinister plot to overthrow Corbin Fisher. These people are not fucking around, they control Nike.
The shame of it.
Shopping in Sainsbury.
I mean, haven't you heard of Waitrose?
ahoj
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