Sunday, 30 March 2008

Summer starts here

So here's the thing...

I was born in Zimbabwe and I grew up partly in the UK and partly South Africa.

When I look back, spending time as a kid in South Africa always seemed better than in the UK.

And again today I was reminded why.

I think the place where you spend the first few years of your life really kinda builds your DNA.

What I'm saying is, is that the sun is shining in London, it's just 15C but I am in such a fucken good mood.

The clocks went back last night which means we're in British Summer Time.

I'll repeat that word: Summer. Summer. Summer. Sun, summer, hot sunny, summer.

Woo hoo! Seriously. Wooo-fucking-hoo!

This morning I took pilgrimage to the Tesco with my top down. No, I wasn't driving half naked... I mean I put the top down. For the first time this year - and on the first day of British SUMMER Time.

This is summer in three easy steps...

Make sure you're comfortably sat. Please note my lip expression which is; "I am trying so desperately hard not to grin because if I show any emotion at this point I will scream with delight at the top of my lungs."

This is summer in 3 easy steps, number 2. It's getting hot in here - so take off all your clothes.

Step number three is complete and we're in the open air, off to the Tesco to shop.

The nearest Tesco store to me is a huge 24-hour job just off the North Circular - a massive ring-road that surrounds Inner London.

You get onto the North Circular with the top down and turn the tunes up as loud as they will go.

The tune is Madonna & Justin - 4 minutes. This song is built for screaming down the highway with the roof down.

Pushing down the accelerator you're illegally over the speed limit, the tunes are blasting with the sun on your back.

I am SO Paris Hilton driving to Venice Beach for lunch with her BH bitches.

Except I'm actually Bobby, on the cold A406 driving to the supermarket. But who cares.

Whatever. All I care about is that summer's coming. Summer. is. coming.

Woop! Woop!

I think I have the sun built into my DNA. I cannot survive without it.

The first time we go out with our top down is always cause for celebration. I am resisting the temptation to dance around the lounge screaming.

Summer's coming bitches. Tick, tock.... tick, tock....

(I'm really sorry if you're in the summer hemisphere, heading for winter. At least you don't have to endure London winters so while we're gloating you can just shut up. And besides, it says it's 29C in Sydney and 33C in Cape Town. It's 15C in London. I know we're clutching at spanners by declaring that it's summer so shh! Work with me...)

13 comments:

Jon said...

It's 7C where I'm living now, but I'm still happy. Summer is coming!

S said...

Yeah, but it's always cloudy there.

So, in the end, it's all a wash.

dripdrydonttumble said...

Hey Bobby,

First time I've posted on your blog, love reading it though.

Funny your last two posts really struck a chord with me.

Firstly. I am currently working for exactly the same media giant in Isleworth and have been for six years, it's slowly killing me, i've got to dig my tunnel faster, sometimes I wonder if I am ever going to escape from the Death Star, so it's great to hear a positive story from someone who escaped!

Secondly...SUMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEERRRRRRR

Bring it on, Fuck I live for sunshine, just everything about it make life better!

In actual fact it's hard to think of a more bleak and dismal experiance than working for said company in Isleworth, which truly is a shit hole, during a British winter. No wonder you were miserable, I sometimes wonder if this is all that life has to give.

Anyway, enjoy the sunshine, and if I ever see a black audi drop top with Madge / Justin blaring out, I may allow myself a little smile.

Keep up the good work.

Bobby Vanquish said...

Jon: Let's dance. Summer baby! Ooh! Ooh! Woop Woop! Lemme me.. conga. Do the conga. Y-M-C-A!
Yey!

Steven: Oh ye of little faith. This summer's going to be the best ever. Ever! You watch...

Drip-dry: I feel your pain. So much so. Wow. ... umm... I think I'm going to have to write something about this actually...!

dickophile said...

i thought you didn't like madonna anymore.

Bobby Vanquish said...

Dick: Yes, you're right. She's a dick. I don't like her. But the song is pretty good. Of course tomorrow I will come to my sense and think "what the fuck was I doing."
I hope you don't like her.
She's history with me now. And what is this song? Tick, tock... what a load of bollocks.

Monty said...

Ahhhh, you poms and your "summer" weather! he he he! Hope you get a warm day sooner or later! Here in Sydney... ;-)

Bill said...

The clocks went back last night

Same here in Spain, xcept that they actually went FORWARD, not BACK ;)

- I always remember that form the cute saying (American, I think):
'Spring forward, Fall back'.

It's great to see that summer is just around the corner! :) I'll be heading back to the UK in early May for the summer, by which time I hope the winter will be well and truly over there ...

dickophile said...

haha. no i don't really like her. the only song of hers i ever enjoyed was hung up. which is sad given how long her career has been. honestly i've never really understood what the hype was all about.

Timmy said...

I live in Houston, Texas and I moved here in July 1992. After one year, I realized that Houston only has two seasons, Summer & August.

I quite like it because I'm all about warm weather and shirtless men.

Right now it is 78F which I think is about 25.5C.

I was actually hoping to see a shirtless pic of you with the top down but then life is full of disappointments I guess.

I also thought you had reversed the photo only to realize that you drive on the wrong side of the road on the other side of the pond. :-)

Bobby Vanquish said...

Monty: Yeah it's easy for you to say. Mr 32C!

Bill: I meant er - what you said. About the clocks going forward. That's the one. If we have a summer that is half better than the one we had last year things will be fabulosa.

Dick: We're not going to waste time talking about Esther.

Timmy: It wasn't that warm. I would have taken my top off and that of the car but remember - I'm in a street and there were people walking past. It would have looked a little crazy having me sat in the car half naked and taking pictures of myself. I am willing to do so much but sometimes you gotta draw limits, you know...

= = = = = = =

So yes - if you look at the time stamp on this, it says about 2am-ish?

I cannot sleep. I am lying in bed and I have finally got up and turned the light on.

I got into my pit at around 11.30pm and I listened to the latest In Our Time podcast, with Melvyn Bragg talking about the dissolution of the monasteries.

I love In Our Time, especially at the beginning of the programme when Bragg introduces the guests and rattles off their qualifications. If you want something to put you to sleep, this is great.

Previous topics have included Camus, plate techtonics and The Statue of Liberty. Find out more about In Our Time here. It's very high-brow, of course.

And then I listened to the MediaGuardian podcast and then tossed and turned and I'm hot and I can't sleep which is a bit shit because I wanted to be up early tomorrow morning to hit the gym.

Well ya-boo sucks to that, it just means I'm going to be late for work.

I know what'll put me to sleep - I am going to continue reading my book on Al Qaeda. I am in the depths of Holy War Inc. by Patrick Bergen because I thought it would be interesting to learn about Osama Your Mama.

At the moment Patrick is investigating radical Muslim clerics who live in Dollis Hill which is near me. Well, about 10 minutes by car.

So I'm trying to fall asleep imagining crazed men with tea-towels in their heads plotting to blow themselves up.

And I am sorry for this rare lapse of judgement as I hurl cultural insults but calling them men with tea-towels on their heads is probably one of the more kinder things you could say about a group of people (the Taliban) who subjugate women, kill gays and generally just propagate their nastiness.

Okay, now shh! We're on Chapter 4: The Koran and the Kalashnikov.

Anonymous said...

And you think you are as shallow as a kiddie pool? Nuh-uh.

dickophile said...

well if its any consolation you put me to sleep.