Muscled up

Jesus wept.

Do you know, when they said "Bobby, we get to get our team out for a Christmas do", I didn't think it would be that fucken complicated.

How bloody wrong was I?

What a bunch of goddam er, no... What a fucken fool am I for agreeing to arrange it?!

First it has to be in Soho and it has to be sit down but some people don't wanna eat and others want to sing karaoke and then the pizzas are wrong and then it's too expensive or too "West-End-ish" or too trashy.

I'm in a mind to tell my colleagues the Christmas do is in Vauxhall and they're all on the guest-list. It's leather or naked, the party's called Fist and they need to bring a big black dildo to fuck themselves with.

Merry fucken Christmas to the lot of them.

Titwank, do you realise that in a month it will be er, Boxing day! Where has the fucken year gone, hello!

Now listen, tonight in the gym, ohmygod. Oh. my. God.

The biggest guy I have ever seen in my life is there. Seriously.

He was literally about as big as this guy...

And the most intriguing part? He was there, with his mate, the Hungarian gay porno star!

Actually, that wasn't what was intriguing. The most puzzling thing was watching the straights around him.

They all started preening and flexing and staring like their eyes were caught in the headlights.

It was so bizarre, like watching a load of stunned peacocks. It got me thinking...

Between him and his porno-star mate, they were huge. They were also literally being eyed up and down by the other guys.

I thought what would happen if one of them were to get the baby oil out and lasciviously start rubbing up his mate, in a really, really seductive manner?

I reckon each of those "straight" boys would get seriously aroused.

No really, I reckon on a deep psychological level when they look in the mirror, pumping themselves up, they're attracted to what they see (i.e. their male form).

So if you put two really muscular guys together and got them to get all horny with each other - I bet the straights would be rising to the occasion all over the gym floor.

I think this would be a valuable anthropological experiment - to show that in some ways - everyone inside is at least little bit gay.

Of course for some it would be seriously hot - though I have to say, when they're that big - nah, not for me.

Though I SO wanted to have a poke. You never know with these guys if it feels like rock or like marshmallow.

In other news, yes - the ornament that's now become known as Andrea's Throne is still sat in the pavement outside my house.

(How could anyone not want a free toilet!?)

And yeah, and this is the 100th post I've made on this blog. Do I get a prize or something?

Maybe I'll have a celebratory wank this evening. Well, no change there, then.