My mate Simon has been going out with Paul for nearly six years but they've known each other for much longer.
Simon is quite fit, he used to be on TV and of course in the early stages of our friendship I fancied him. However, over time my feelings for him "in that way" have disappeared.
Simon and Paul are both in their middle 30s, they live together, they have his & his 4x4s and even a dog. It's par for the course that in the next 12 months they're going to get "married".
So last night my mobile phone rings and it's Simon.
"Guess what?"
"Ohmygod! Paul's asked you to marry him"
"No. He's left me."
The next two-hour phone-call has Simon in tears for the most of it.
Apparently for the last few days they've been having row after row and Paul finally walked out leaving him a note which said his sister would be in touch about getting his things.
He admits that him and Paul haven't had sex for nearly two years. He says that one many occasions Paul would sleep in the spare room.
He says Paul admitted to visiting a sauna and loving it. He says this really upset him.
After a while admits that he too had strayed on more than one occasion, thanks to Gaydar.
They only got the dog last year to try and make the relationship work but both knew it wouldn't.
Simon admits that there's not much chance of it being rekindled because he's pretty sure that Paul is already in someone else's arms and has been for some time.
I am seriously upset for him. Hearing a guy sob is always really awful. They were a great couple together and it's a pity that it's disintegrated.
However, what depresses me more than anything is that, throughout the conversation I repeatedly have to stop myself thinking "great! maybe I'll get that shag out of Simon afterall."
The call comes to an end and I don't invite him to come around or to make him dinner as any good friend would. I don't even suggest dinner out.
I am scared things will get uncomfortable and I hate myself for it.
This morning, to keep him at bay or perhaps out of guilt I send him a text that says "hope you're feeling better having slept - phone if you want to talk".
Seconds later I get a text back; "thanks for listening to me last night and for being there. it means a lot. maybe speak later."
Secretly I hope he doesn't call. And I don't know why I am running away from this.
Sunday 2 September 2007
Save me from myself
Written by Bobby Vanquish at around 19:35
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9 comments:
I think you did the right thing. Best thing would be that if you do see him you pick somewhere public midday and possibly with a thrid party present. At least until he can pull himself together. Post breakup vultures can be awful, it's good that you're trying not to be one.
Oliver: Nice advice. Somewhere public with a third party is really good idea. I guess what depressed me most is that I found myself thinking with my dick and not my head. And I always thought I was slightly more mature (!) than that. Thanks for the comment.
I say shag him
Perhapse i could help - i'd be prepared to selflessly sleep with him first so that you wouldn't be the "rebound" and thus make it completely ethical for you to follow on and sleep with him.
...you see how selfless and nice i can be :-)
LP: You have the morals and ethics of a mouldy school lunchbox. And that's why I luvs ya.
Chabang: Plan, Stan! Email me for his number: bobby.vanquish@gmail.com.
We'll take it in turn. You shag, I'll watch etc. The carcass of the newly-dumped always tastes better.. mwhahahahaha!
you never said anything about watching - just what sort of floozy do you think i am :-p
Chabang: I just assumed that er...eh?
OK, I think you did the right thing. He's not really going to be in a very good spot for a while.
Wow, that story closely resembles my life. Was with ex-bf for over 4 years, didn't quite get the dog but considered it. The ex strayed and I left him. It was a relief but much harder to get over than I thought it would be. However, over a year later I've never been happier. I hope Simon is now as happy, or at least on the way there.
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