It starts now

On 19th February 2008 I will get on an Airbus A340 that will take me and a few hundred other people to Cape Town.

It is the fifth time I will have been, five years since I came to the UK.

It will be the first time I have flown Virgin Atlantic too.

Theoretically I should be very excited but I'm not. I just don't know why. Maybe it's because I haven't had more than 6 hours' sleep for the last week.

Maybe it's because I haven't been to gym since Sunday.

I started to write about the few years before I left Cape Town for London, of all the crap that was going on in my life and I just found that it became a little difficult.

I want to carry on because I want to have it all out of my system by the time I get onto that airplane.

Next June I turn 30. This is the last time I will have to kill all those ghosts that haunt me.

This will be the last time to put all that shit to rest. I don't want it from now on.

Every time I have been back it's been fun, it's been a holiday.

I'd go to the beach, go out with friends and get drunk.

This time there's going to be one more thing...

This time, come February 19th, when I get onto that plane I am going to look the fucken hottest I have ever looked in my life.

I will go back to all the clubs I used to go to when I was overweight and unhappy.

Those times when I felt like the blob on the dancefloor are going to be vanquished (I used the word!) and replaced by the new(ish) me.

I want aquaintences who I haven't seen for ages to ask, "fuck-me, have you been working out?"

"You fucken betcha baby" is what I won't say! But I'll have to bite my tongue really hard not to utter it.

So why does it matter so much?

When I left I was in a bad shape, physically and just everythingly. Do you know when you just need to get away from a place for a time?

I'm now ready to go back properly and unfuck up all my shit.

One of the places I am definitely going to - to unfuck up my shit - is the city's sauna. I know I've pointed you to this before, but again, here's why.

I am going to be like Van Helsing with his big wooden stake and just slam it through the heart of all those bad memories.

Okay, now I am getting excited about going to Cape Town.

This is going to be one big fucken huge muther-fucker of an adventure.

I have two months to get into the best shape mentally and physically.

While it may be two months (fuck) before I get onto the Airbus, the journey starts right now.

I'm really glad you're going to be here for the ride.

Bitches, a journey beckons us...


Keptun is the label for Cape Town aka The Adventure. I've spelled it Keptun because that's how the locals say it.