There are two very important issues we have to discuss actually.
The first is a fashion trend that is truly awful.
I have noticed it more and more and it seems everyone who wears glasses has a pair of these...
The frames of the lenses extend in two separate arms to the plastic point that goes on the ear.
You must have seen them. They're all the rage and I think they are hideous.
Holy smokes, they're so bloody ugly.
I don't know what it is about that style but it's just unspeakably awful.
If anyone wears those type of glasses please tell me what possessed you to buy them.
Did you look at the arms and go "ohmygod, that totally out there design-wise, I have to have them..."
I don't know why I hate them so much but I just can't handle even looking at them.
To me they say; "crashingly middle class and boring, thinks shitty avant-garde design = trendy (I hate that word) and fashionable."
This style of glasses is nearly as bad as the other two things I cannot bear. To the point where, if I see someone with either of these, I have to move away from them.
I write them off as a person, no matter what. They are:
1/ Buttoned-down collars. (ohmygod - words cannot even begin to describe what I think of people who have shirts with buttoned-down collars).
2/ White collars on coloured shirts, i.e. a blue shirt with a white collar, or pink shirt with a white collar.
Okay, I have to stop because all this talk is making me feel queasy.
Moving on...
The other thing that really riled me this evening, to the point where I was so close to pulling the passenger alarm on the Tube, was the fucking train driver.
At every tube station the driver came on the PA and in this deadpan idiot voice went:
"Please stand clear of doors. Please stand clear of doors."
I was nearly about to explode.
It's "please stand clear of THE doors. Stand clear of THE doors." Not fucking "stand clear of doors".
A door is a definite article you stupid fucking cnut, it's needs a THE in front of it. Aaaaahhhh.... It's "THE doors"...
Fuck!
It really wound me up.
Doors closing, beep starts and this stupid fucking whiney voice blasts; "stand clear of doors."
Goddamit.
I don't know if this is a sign that I am over-stressed and am in so desperate need of a holiday or that I am so underwhelmed in life that these are the things that bother me.
Tuesday 5 February 2008
Definite articles
Written by Bobby Vanquish at around 20:19
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10 comments:
Have a shag - it makes life's little annoyances more bearable. Just stand clear of THE door.
Oh, isn't public transportation SOOOOOO much fun!?!?!?
Bolt: Maybe that's is the problem. I am going to have to pursue this further I think.
Billy: It's a bloody nightmare. Especially when train drivers' grammar goes off the track!
I think having train drivers who can't speak but think they can is even worse than a late train.
I've got the previous years equivalent to those glasses - the ones with no frame around the lenses.
Did the gentleman in question sound as if he was native to this country?
The way to get around this issue is just to spend a large amount of money on employing these blokes in white gloves, that they have on Japanese train stations; their whole job being to manhandle as many people on as possible; and no need to make the announcement.
100k for a year should solve the bad grammar issues. Do you need to be a London resident to run for Mayor?
It's like metaphorically looking in the mirror. Bad grammar and terrible shirts; two of my pet hates. I'll join you with the glasses one out of solidarity.
Fleet: He was definitely English because he had this irritating whiney English voice.
And yeah - sometimes I think a cattle prod would work wonders on the Tube really.
And as for the glasses - rimless ones I can understand. They're not that bad actually. It's this double arm contraptions that I loathe.
Actually - rimless can look quite cool. Especially on a sexy guy.
Stephen: Thanks matey. Maybe should should also raise a glass in solidarity.
Those glasses totally suck ass! And this comes from someone who wears Shutter Shades ;)
Hm, maybe the driver meant exactly what he said, and was giving general advice, without referring to any particular door.
Please stand clear of any doors you may encounter today.
Beware of doors.
I think you might be over stressed, definitely over stressed.
People who make public announcements usually annoy me too. I mean, act it, put some feeling in. Actually I think all announcements should be recorded. Preferably by someone like Joanna Lumley or Stephen Berkoff.
You may be over-stressed, but that would be understandable as those glasses are awful.
Ew.
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