Commandments

In South Africa at least 50 people are murdered every day. It has overtaken Colombia, once dubbed The Murder Capital of the World.

South Africa is also known as The Rape Capital of the World.

Theft, armed robbery and car hijacking is also rife. So much so that some insurance companies refuse to insure certain makes of VW Golf because they are so frequently hijacked.

One in 10 people in South Africa is HIV positive.

South Africa is one of the few places in the world where, before you go on holiday there, you have to say a little prayer.

I have to write these things down because it makes it slightly more tangible, like a list of commandments.

* While on holiday I will NOT drink and drive. Not after one drink or ten.
(18,000 people die every year on South Africa's roads in drink-and-drive accidents)

* I will NOT get into other cars where people are drunk. I will repeat the following to myself ad nauseum: "Bobby, get licensed cabs if you're pissed."

* While on holiday I will NOT drive late at night. As much as I hate it, I will sleep on couches etc.

* While on holiday I will NOT buy ____. I will not be with anyone who's buying _____. I will not go with anyone (friend or not) who goes off to buy ____.

* While on holiday I will NOT fuck around.

* I will NOT "go back" with someone I don't know. No matter how shameless it is, I will get their number and tell them that I've passed it onto a friend and I will tell a friend where I'm going.

Cape Town is a big and dangerous but wonderful and beautiful place. Just be careful.

This is going to be a wonderful holiday and you've been looking forward to it for ages, so don't be fucking stupid.

Repeat: Do NOT be fucking stupid.