Ben the two of us

or "Adventures in the Gym".

Winter's approaching which means I have to change my schedule. Sadly it means no more gym in the morning, getting up at 7am is too cold and too dark.

Tonight I switch to going in the evening which is both good and bad.

Why good: Gym busy = more guys to choose from and stalk
Why bad: Gym busy = having to share / wait for equipment

Tonight though it's a blockbuster but I passive-aggresive my way in and do good chest but that's by-the-by. Who the fuck goes to gym to work out?

So I first told you about Ben a while ago.

Well, he's there again tonight, obssessing with his mobile phone.

From the amount of time he spends fiddling with it I guess he's going to be rather erm, "exercised" by the morning, shall we say.

Then it dawns on me and I hatch a little game I think would be marvellous to play!

I'm going to get his phone number from his website and if I see him working out again I am going to manoeuvre myself to be near him and then very discreetly text him.

Of course this would depend on him not seeing me but how funny would it be?

The first text would have to be something like "hey - you busy this eve? how much for an hour?"

It would be so amusing to see him get the text and watch him respond. Of course once he does then you turn up the fucken' volume.

The next text would have to be: "I really want you to sit on my face and wiggle - you up for that?"

Or: "I would love it if you were to dress in sweaty gym kit so that I can sniff your bum-hole."

The reaction you want is just for him to sit there completely unmoved as you text him things like "I wanna feel your hot man-jizz spunk out my eyes and sting them".

Actually, I don't know if I could do it because at some point I would probably burst out laughing.

Of course having said that, it hasn't stopped me saving his number on my phone, just incase. Suggestions for suitably outrageous texts would be very gratefully received.

Now the next part of the adventure involves some back-story...

About ten days ago I walk into the shower and hey presto! I interrupt two guys in opposite stalls wanking off to each other.

They both turn around very quickly but they - like I - know exactly what they were doing.

In "the old days" this would have maybe excited me and who knows, I may have joined in, but now... I have just seen it too much to be bothered.

I tut, move away and let them get on with it.

Cut to last week at work and I'm standing in the queue at the canteen with a colleague. I'm going to ask the question but you already know the answer...

Guess who I see in the queue in the canteen? Yes, (all together now...) one of the guys who was jerking off in the showers! Mwhahaha....

He glances at me and then very quickly stares at the floor. It is quite obvious he recognises me and knows exactly where from.

Now you would think "once bitten twice shy", well, would you fuck.

I walk into the showers again tonight and there he is again. I appear and he and a guy standing opposite both swing around very quickly.

Fuck this I think - I am going to shower right here. So I hang my towel up in the stall opposite him and start to soap up.

He has his back to me for a while but then turns around to reveal a major hard-on. I see this, shake my head, tut and move stalls. Sometimes it's fun to be Morally Outraged of North London.

About 30 seconds later I see him pass, briskly exiting the showers with his towel wrapped very loosely.

I cannot wait to see him in the lunch queue again!