Wednesday 15 August 2007

Rent-boys, clubs and Kylie?

So before we go any further you need to check out this picture...


Look at the picture above. It's a flyer for a Heaven Club party in Ibiza. One of the guys looks familiar, mainly because I spotted him in the gym last night.

(It actually happened the other way around. I spotted him working out and thought; "fuck, why does he look familiar?" I got home and thumbed through a few old QX's and there he was, though not the place I expected. I had thought he'd be in the rent-boy back section, but instead saw him in the ad above.)

Which one is he? Here's a clue: he's not the one on the left, nor is he the two on the right.

I wouldn't have noticed him at the gym had he not been relentlessly picking up and fiddling with his mobile phone.

I don't much but I know this: muscular boys in the gym who're obssessed with their cell-phones are not waiting for calls from their friends.

Nor are they waiting for a "hullo" from their mum. Between you and me, 'client' is the word.

So I get home and I'm determined to try and track down why he seemed familiar. Mainly because he's hot and I'm trying to plot my way into his underpants.

I figure I might as well just try the "Commercial" section of Gaydar. I mean you can always rely on Gaydar, in one way or another.

And there he is...bingo. And with a link to his own website too.

If you click on the picture (he supplies banners on his page!), it will take you to it:

Now that I see he's done porn I'm not so keen though mainly I'm also not so keen that he's mine for £140 an hour.

So again I find myself asking the question; "why-oh-why do all the really fit guys turn out to be rent boys?"

Do straight guys face the same predicament? Do they see really hot girls in the gym, go home and then find out that they're actually hookers?

It's in that context, when you cast a disapassionate eye over what "gay" means, in all its guises, that you realise that actually it can be generally quite depressing.

Is being gay really just about Kylie, poppers, Gaydar, gym, rent-boys, sex, clubs, drugs and designer underwear? Find me one gay man who's not into at least one of those things.

There has to be more to it than that?!

Answers on the back of a public toilet door please. Or a comment would be cool...!

8 comments:

ANDRE said...

It's unbelievable how much your words reflect what I felt when I lived in London. I used to get drinks with friends at The Box and every Friday night it was like seeing the back section of QX in flesh and bones. And this is actually one of the reasons why i left the U.K...

Anonymous said...

I can say I am into 3 of those things, but you'll have to guess which 3 ;)

Sh@ney said...

Well I dont do drugs, gym, or have sex...The latter not because I dont want too...lol
If a man has the means to be a sex god and he's good at it, then there is a lot of money to be paid if that is the profession he seeks. If you got it flaunt it they say...I just dont have it...:P
Are you seriously going to spend the bonus & lose your job?
Hmm I worry about you young man!

Gabriel said...

you make me laugh! loved you post. unfortunately if you are not into these things, you are probably not fit or gay. but you are right - there's more to life than that.

Edd said...

its official, I hate you. |Damit it wanna go to ibiza. WAs supposed to be flying out there next week, I even bougtht my flight but my friends cancelled on me (you could have my flight, but its from leeds), now I have to go to spain & portugal, which is nice, but it aint Ibiza. I want pics galore.xx

chabang said...

Oh dear, when you're asking questions like that you're clearly on course for a proper mid-life-crisis.

Have you found yourself looking at motorbikes and large sports cars whilst also starting to consider cordroy an acceptable and practical clothing material?

:-p

Bobby Vanquish said...

Firstly - can I get all soppy and say that all the comments are really cool. I love when it becomes like a two-way thang - makes writing all the more enjoyable. Thank you x

Andre: Yeah, the Box is just too bad. That's why I avoid it. Mainly because I don't like bars. But also because - unless you're wearing a vest and hanging off the bar trying to be noticed, everyone will basically think that you're a useless speciman of man who works in a call centre. Which is ironic really given what most of the guys there do...!

T: I'm guessing poppers, rent-boys and drugs. Or do I have you all wrong?! x x

Shaney - I'm not going to lose my job. (They're too scared to fire me.. they have rabbits and I'm not afraid to boil them!) But if they do then I'm coming to live on your couch.

Gabriel: That's the thing - it's quite ridiculous that you can sum up being gay in about six words. Seven if you include the word "jockstrap".

Edd.d: There will be pictures galore, I promise. And I will order a vodka martini especially for you, to toast at Matinee at Space. Thanks for the offer though - and enjoy Portugal. And look out for that child...

Chabang: I'm going to order in a line of coke and some champagne to try and stave the pain. And there's nothing wrong with corduoroy. Is there??

Brechi said...

We might like some of those things but there's more to it too :)
(OK, I'm reading up on your archives now). I guess I'm getting a little addicted huh.