Wednesday 24 October 2007

Growing pains

I've been inspired to post some pictures and I have to admit is quite fun.

I asked my Mum a while ago to send over some from Seth Efrika and copies of the originals arrived this morning (nearly a month late, no thanks to the striking postal workers...)

The first is me outside my first nursery school or play school or whatever you call it.

It was taken in Zimbabwe and I must have been about three or four years old. I have to mention that it was taken in Zimbabwe because it helps to explain the clothes.

My mother is clever and intelligent and witty but I cannot believe how she used to dress me.

This next picture is far more interesting because it shows the real Bobby.

Every week we would go to my grandparents for Sunday lunch. As upper-middle class white people in Zimbabwe it meant Sundays were the same every week.

Enoch the cook would prepare lunch while my parents sat outside drinking G&Ts. When ready, Enoch would ring the bell and we'd all go through to the dining room.

The only thing needed to be done was for the meat to be carved, which my grandfather always did.

I think this photo is rather prophetic really. Me with a mouth stuffed full of food looking thoroughly disinterested.

Judging by the hat it must have been on Christmas Day.

This was probably the last year we spent in Zimbabwe because we moved back to the UK shortly afterwards.

It's funny to look at old photos because you start to think about circumstances and wonder how different you life may have been if, for example, my parents had decided to stay in Zimbabwe.

Or what if I had studied harder at school? And what if I hadn't dropped out of University? And what if I hadn't spent much of 2004 drunk?

You can't ever live with regret and I don't but as one approaches 30, I have to say that it is nicer to be able to see consequences.

When you're young you sometimes repeatedly slam your fist on the big red button marked 'destruct' without ever thinking of what may happen afterwards.

Now I can consider what might happen, thanks to experience. Maybe growing up is not all bad? Whatever, enough of all this philosophical babble.

Listen, I saw the Hungarian porno-star at the gym earlier, I don't think I've told you about him. Let's make that a date for tomorrow, perhaps?

18 comments:

seahorse said...

O M F G.....pmsl...

no comment.

ok just 1

those legs deserves expensive stillettos.

ok ok i'm going

Gabriel said...

great pictures, you looked so cute! so tell me, what did you find on the farm?

Bobby Vanquish said...

seahorse: what is pmsl?...

Gabriel: haha! the bottom half of the photo is slightly cut off but according to the print on the T-shirt you'll find donkeys kicking their hooves in the air! Or, all things considered - you're more likely to spot a pig with its snout in the trough!

Anonymous said...

I thought the pics were neat. Those shorts were popular at one time. I think I had a pair myself.
Awww. Look at your little brief case. That pic must have been taken in front of your school or something. I mean, it can't be like you were off to a big corporate merger deal or something. You were too young.

Carl



Here in America you can get a crown like that Burger King. Just in case you want to wear a hat when your eating that is.

I noticed the shirt caption too.

Good that you are learning along the way. Maybe consider going back to school in some fashion, even if it is online college. Those seem to be working well for a lot of people. Best to have a degree under your belt as a safety net. (Do I sound like I'm your dad giving you advice?) I'm thinking of going back now to get another degree myself.

yani said...

I have a highly similar photo to the one with the shorts... expect that my shorts were possibly even shorter, if that's even possible... but I think I look even dorkier because I'm wearing my backpack and a bright red hat... ;) Very similar sandals though...

Tales of the City said...

cute.. do we get a grown up shot?

Anonymous said...

My shorts like that were satin gold. Like some sort of cheap silk. I looked like some disco queen on roller skates on a Friday night at the local roller disco. Mine were very short too and slit up the sides just like you see in the pic.

C.

Brechi said...

aww, too cute.

Anonymous said...

I like the little brief case and I would imagine that how high you were sitting in that chair that you had a booster seat or was sitting on a huge telephone directory.

I love baby pictures in general.

Carl

S.B. said...

Oh. My. I had shorts like that too as a kid. Eeek.

And what does that crown represent? Us Americans don't wear crowns at Christmas time.

Bobby Vanquish said...

First, apparently when seahorse writes 'pmsl' it means "pissing myself laughing". And no, I'm not sure where the S comes from either...

In no particular order:
CuteCT: Yeah, I have been working on an up-to-date shot complete with briefcase, white socks and leather shoes. It should find its way into cyberspace shortly...

Yani: The sandals were a favourite Zimbabwean make of shoe called Bata. Everyone in Zim wore Batas. Even though they were strictly girls shoes!

Brechi: Yeah, yeah - it's only cute when you compare it to the Big Gay Monster that I've become. Actually, I'm just kidding.
I'm not big.
Mwahahahahahahahaha

Carl: The terrible thing about those kind of shorts is that they've been immortalised in endless porn movies, straight and gay...
The funny thing is now, as styles and tastes have changed, the only place you can buy them is in Fetish Shops...W. Eird.


Silly Billy: Yeah - the crown at Christmas is inneresting. In Handel's Messiah, during one of the choruses there's a line that goes:
King of Kings
Forever and ever
Hallelaujah, hallelujuh


Because Jesus was the son of God and his representation in human form I think that, according to Protestant tradition, we wear crowns at Christmas time in honour of Jesus, the King of Kings. I honestly haven't looked this up but it seems the most obvious conclusion.

yani said...

Yeah we had Batas here in Australia too... Except I think our brand had two T's... Battas.. but I could be wrong...

And the S in PMSL is easy..

"Pissing My Self Laughing" :)

Jon said...

I'm guessing the "S" in PMSL means Pissing My Self Laughing.

dbh said...

awe, lil' bobby - and hungarian fella, can we get a picture? preferably not fuzzy and not getting caught?? :-)

firstimpre55ion said...

Ok I'm delayed in responding to this post of yours, but of course I have to do the same thing everyone did...

Awww, how cute!

lol I had to! Anyways...

I love this retro Bobby we get to explore...so many good stories as of late! :D

-Bry

Anonymous said...

At Burger King you wear the crown just to have fun really. So different than Christmas.

You are correct about those shorts. Mine were satin gold in color. I had a pic that someone took of me and I ripped it up years ago, but for some strange reason still have it. The shorts were throwing me, so I was like, "Oh, man, gotta rip that up." Of course, I was around 16 or so when it was taken.

I like old pics. It's funny what we can see in them. The fads, the styles etc.

I bet Burl Hole, the 70's porn star" who signed an autograph for you has a pair of them to this day! Plus, are you ever going to tell me who signed that autograph?

Carl

Bobby Vanquish said...

yani: Hey matey - yeah, maybe it was two 'T's...? I just remember that our school shoes were always Battas.

Yani & Jon: Myself is one word...?!

Daze: Oh yeah - I'll have to get to telling you about the Hungarian porn star at some stage.

fI: Hopefully they're all good stories! But thanks for the "awww" too...

Carl: I love going through old pictures - I wish I could publish more but the shitty thing is that all of the ones which are interesting are in albums in boxes in South Africa at my parents house. I am planning to go back in February so maybe then?

It was Roger Moore who signed that autograph!

Funnily enough - this appeared on Popbitch a few weeks ago... I love Sir Rog! What a fucken legend...

The best ever story about him (Sir Roger) came from a handyman in Deal, Kent.

One day, many years ago, the handyman was booked to do a DIY job at a beautiful house in the conservation area of the town. While doing some work on the ground floor, he heard some noises coming from upstairs. He'd been expecting the house to be empty so decided to investigate. He climbed the stairs, walked to the bedroom and pushed open the door.

Three naked bodies were entwined on the bed. Staring open-mouthed at the fruity ménage-a-trois in front of him, the handyman got a further shock when 007 popped his head up from the bed, and announced cheerfully in that inimitable drawl, "Don't worry old chap. Just experimenting!"

The appalled handyman walked out of the bedroom, down the stairs and straight out the front door.

Jon said...

Myself is one word. He must have thought it was 2. :)