Memories

I am so hungover.

Maybe this time I have actually poisoned myself.

And here comes the chorus, all together now: "I am never drinking again!"

I went out for lunch at Joe Allen, it's my favourite place in London and I love it. Of course everytime I go, I end up drinking too much and when I got home I didn't stop.

And that's how I ended up with the worst of hangovers.

So listen - I really need your help with something.

When I was young, about 8 or 9 years old, my parents went to a dinner party and took my sister and I along.

While the adults were in the dining room eating, my sister and I were being looked after by the host's teenage daughter. Let's call her Christine.

My sister had fallen asleep on the sofa but I hadn't and I ended up watching the movie Christine had playing on video.

In the film there was a woman with curly blonde hair who's wearing blue clothes, I'm guessing they were denim. Denim jacket and jeans.

In one scene she is with another men in the back of a pick-up truck or a van of some sort. There are horizontal wooden bars along the sides of the truck because the sun is shining through.

I seem to remember they were lying in hay or straw.

During the scene, while in the hay, the man and her have quite rough sex, he rips her top off and bites at her breast.

Later in the film, while on a bus, they are both shot at, by police, as I seem to remember. They emerge from a door at the front of the bus covered in blood and with buckshot injuries.

I seem to remember this couple being on the run, perhaps.

I remember the film being quite contemporary, as in, I saw it and it must have been set around the late-80s.

The sex was quite graphic and the violence quite intense.

It was a Sunday night because I remember the next morning the nurse came to our school.

When I heard she was there and what would be required of us, I went and hid.

With the images of that film still in my mind, I was so petrified to take my clothes off and have her look in my pants or check my hair.

Our teacher found me in the toilets and I was taken by the arm to the nurse.

In the sick-room, this female matron was sat in a chair, behind a desk and told me to strip off.

I kept having flashes of the movie I had seen the night before and it was the most humiliating thing, to have to take off my clothes in front of this woman who just sat there and watched.

She looked in my mouth, checked my hair and poked around in my underpants.

All I could think of was of this woman in the film, having rough sex in the hay in the back of a truck with this guy who sucked her breasts.

I never told my parents about the film and I guess they were never told of me hiding to avoid seeing the school nurse.

So many other children were petrified of her too, I guess me bunking off wasn't an unusual occurrence.

And this is where I need your help.

If anyone knows of the film I am talking about, please could you let me know. I would be very very grateful.

I have gone over this story in my mind so many times. I have written it down and how it affected me. I think in some way I have moved on.

But the closure I need is to know what the film was. I need to find it and watch it again.

I have searched things like back+of+truck+hay+ sex+scene and of course it proves fruitless.

If the scenes I have described ring a bell, please let me know. Thanks.