Wednesday 29 August 2007

Out to lunch

I work in a large mouse-infested historic building in London which you've probably seen on TV. In it there are two restaurants and a few weeks I notice a new face behind the check-outs in one of them.

To cut a long story short... he is in his early 20s, from Eastern Europe and I have to say, rather cute. Over the next few days he smiles at me and last Friday, when he gives me my change our hands meet, he looks up at me and his eyes completely light up.

Yesterday, while trying to find something edible he appears behind me. Noticing him I turn around and he very quickly and nervously hands me a piece of paper. He is obviously trying to make sure his colleagues don't notice what he's doing.

I shove the paper in my pocket, grab and pay for a Diet Coke and leave.

Around the corner I open it.

"Its Rico from teabar. Maybe I take you for lunch sometime if you want. 077xx xxxx xxxx"

My heart completely skips a beat. This is one of the sweatest things that's happened to me for a while. All of last night I was torn up about what I should do.

Actually, it's not a difficult choice because I know there's only one option.

He's young, wide-eyed, obviously new to London and new to the whole "gay in a big city" thing. I am a 29 year old guy who's seen and done a lot, is mostly cynical - basically I know that whatever happens it can't / won't work.

This morning I take a deep breath and walk to the canteen to find him. I get there and the radio is on. Peter Cetera's playing.

He is packing ready-made sandwiches but looks up and sees me. His faces flashes a smile. I walk over to him.

I think "Oh god, I wish that fucking radio would shut up".

"Hey Rico... thank you so much. That note was really really sweet." He smiles and looks into my eyes.

"But unfortunately I am taken. I'm so sorry."

He smiles and says "okay, fine" but this look of terrible disappoinment just washes across his face. He tries to smile again but takes a step back and half raises his hand as if to wave but instead turns on his heals and walks away with his head hung.

The ready-made sandwich trolley is abandoned as he walks in the opposite direction, out of the canteen.

I want to run after him, grab him and give him such a big hug and say something or apologise again but what can you do?

I feel awful because I have just ruined his day. He probably got home last night and and thought about taking me out for supper or something.

Tonight he is probably walking through his front door and feeling like shit. Maybe I made him cry in the toilet.

I really feel bad.

Maybe I am battered and cynical because that's been done to me and I've just done it to someone else. I feel awful.

He'll never read this but I want to put it out into the Universe anyway.

Rico,
For a moment you stole my heart. I was flattered and so touched that you did something so brave and plucked up the courage to hand me that note. It will stay in my special shoebox forever. In time you'll forget about this but right now I'm so sorry if I hurt you. You deserve a Prince on horseback to come and whisk you away - I'm sure you'll have no trouble in finding him but unfortunately that Prince is not me.
With love and light,
Bobby.


I guess I'm now also going to have to find somewhere else to buy my lunch.

8 comments:

Gabriel said...

that was sweet. but if you left rico that note you wrote, he'll have something to place in his shoebox as well.... along with the little pieces of his broken heart. crushes.

firstimpre55ion said...

OMG Bobby! You're such a bloody wanker!!! I can't believe you did that! You sooo lied!!! And I think what you should have done was I'm taken, how about we be friends?! But then again how do you explain the non-existent boyfriend later when he wants to meet him?! I mean your sentiment is good that you feel he deserved someone better...but still! OMG you make me mad! That's like the two guys I met at speed dating...they both totally lead me on...I'm so over them! UGH! As for you...I'll deal with you...eventually! You ass! :P

fI

Anonymous said...

That is one of the most tragic stories I've ever heard!!!

ANDRE said...

I'm not sure why but I feel sad after reading this. Maybe because there's a little Rico in all of us..

I have a similar story, but it's slightly more grotesque. The other day I was at work all alone during lunch break and the new maid came to me to chat (well my office is more like a house, we have maids...). She's from Eastern Europe, she's wide-eyed, and after saying a shy 'hi' a couple of times she got the courage to approach me. She asked me where I lived, if I had a girlfriend, and then she told me that last month in Romania she cut her finger off while she was gardening. She even showed me her deformed hand.

I wish I received a note from your Rico instead...

sleepyboy said...

I know I'm late but I want to throw my hat into the ring. I didn't know weather to put this in the leg post or not. Some people don't look at their old post comments. So here are my legs

http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee168/trybaby/legs2.jpg?t=1188485412

TheDreamer said...

Apologies if what follows is a bit provocative, but I think I missed something. It must have been your sanity leaving the building. He's young, cute, likes you and you told him a big fat lie because you're 'cynical' about what might or might not happen.

So, do you think you're not just not worthy, or what is that you actually scared of?

Anonymous said...

Hey bro, just found your blog today (via London Preppy, who I found via Debriefing The Boys) and I ended up reading the entire thing, and it's awesome!! It's the kind of thing I'd like to have of my own, if only I could think of anything to say on a daily basis...

Anyway, I'd show you my blog except that I don't have one lol... I did have a ton of vidz up on xTube showing myself spankin it, but then I got in a relationship and figured I should take down my naughty xTube page, which I did but not before hitting 600,000 views. That's quite a lot of cum, now that I think about it... oh well, anyway, that's me, what I meant to do was leave a comment congratulating YOU on havin a kickin blog! So congrats!!

-- Pete

Anonymous said...

Bobby, you get back to that canteen and you take that young pole out to lunch or for the rest of your days it will be there in the back of your mind, what if....? Just think in thirty years you caould be standing by the fire holding a brandy while Rico sits on the sofa reading a magazine and you say "to think I almost turned you down, and we would have missed out on our life together"..............