Monday, 13 August 2007

Gay acme

Are you eating? Good. Get a load of this:

A special thanks to everyone who's obviously very concerned about my wound. Or as some people call it, "the blister". Love you too.

Remind me when you're mortally injured so that I can come and nurse you back to good health. With an axe.

Ohmygod. This morning at gym I didn't see Jack (my future husband) but I did see the gayest thing I have ever seen in my er, well this year anyway.

It was so gay it would have made this (below) look like something you'd see on the rugby field at Twickenham.

Okay, so this guy's changing, he's a little on the podgy side and his aussieBums don't really fit.

At first I hear what seems to sound like coins or metal bangles jangling but I look up at this guy to see this shimmering silver hangy-thing.

He has a pierced belly button which isn't that camp except that the ring in his navel has a pendant hanging off it.

And the silver hangy-offy-thing looked like a fairy. Or something with wings, like a cherub or flying cupid.

Here's my super-duper diagramatic schematic scientific visual drawing:

Isn't a belly-button ring with an pendant hanging off it like the acme of gay?

It is the super-apex zenith of poofery. I cannot think of any one single thing that you could do to yourself that could be any more gay.

I don't know why it's bothered me but the image of that silvery-dangly thing has stuck with me all day. Maybe I'm secretly attracted to men with atrocious taste.

Anyway, have you ever heard of a Meme? It's a list of questions and then you fill out the answers. Well, I spotted this on ClosetCase blog, so I thought I would try and complete it.

Here goes:

Would you get back with your ex if you could?
No, he's a twat. Everyone at the time said "you're going out with him - are you out of your mind?". Looking back I now say "my god, I went out with him - was I out of my mind?"

What kind of shirt are you wearing?
A t-shirt. It's light blue

Have you made out with anyone on your MySpace list?
Don't have a MySpace account. I always remember a Post Secret card that said "it's my birthday and I didn't get a single card. Even though my MySpace account says I have 800 friends". Sums it up really.

Do you have "a thing" for anyone on your Top 8?
Enough about bloody MySpace, okay!

How many people on your list do you know in real life?
If you mention MySpace again I am not going to continue...

How many kids do you want to have?
Two

Do you have a good relationship with both your parents?
Yeah, oddly.

Do you make over £40k a year?
Whatever...money's not the be-all and end-all. (I'm not going to say that if I didn't...)

Name of a song you can relate to right now?
Can't think? Er, Like a Virgin. Or "Agadoo doo doo doo - push pineapple shake the tree"?

What name would you want to have besides the one you have?
I've always thought the name Anton sounds fierce. Guys with big muscles who play rugby are called Anton.

Would you ever make out with someone of the same sex?
Er, the question should be "would you ever make out with someone of the opposite sex"...

What's your mother's name?
Oi! Where's my inheritance?

What did you do for your last birthday?
Went up to Hampstead Heath with friends, had a picnic and got drunk.

What's the ringtone on your mobile phone?
It's permanently on silent.

What time did you wake up?
9 am but it's Monday and I refuse to "do" Monday mornings so I go into work late instead.

What were you doing at midnight two nights ago?
It was Saturday night and I was er, travelling home.

Do you like having your hair pulled?
What sort of question is that? Yeah, I fucken love it - what the fuck do you think?

Name something you can't do.
Play the violin

Do you get along with your siblings?
Yes - er, this is getting boring....

What is the one think you wish you could change about yourself?
I said boring - let's change the subject.

If you had £250,000 how would you spend it?
Shut up okay. Enough of the bloody questions.

How long have you been at your current job?
I thought I told you to shut up.

Last person you phoned?

Hey? Who?...

hello?

Bobby's Dodgy Music Collection CD #13

You've either heard of Pink Martini or you haven't. And if you have heard of them you either hate them or you love them.

I think they're fabulous and their new album Hey Eugene! is great but their best work by far is Hang On Little Tomato.

My favourite track on 'Eugene' at the moment is Dosvedanya Mio Bombino and from 'Tomato' it has to the violin and vocal intro on U plavu zoru.

Seriously, if you want to try something a little different go into a record shop and ask to listen to one of their albums. You'll either be thanking me for introducing you to them or you'll be going "what is this crap?"

I'm doubly excited because today I booked tickets to see them at the Hammersmith Apollo on November 10th with Anna, a friend from work who's one of two other people in the world who I know who loves them.

3 comments:

T said...

Your foot is looking sexy!!! Send me an e-mail (it's linked on my blog & profile and I might be able to come up with a link to the kid I went to high school with.

-Tim

Bobby Vanquish said...

Big T! I know the foot is getting less and less sexy I tell ya!
Two nights ago it looked like ham pasta. Now it's looking more and more like a normal foot. Tsk...

Madelia said...

Thanks for writing this.