Tuesday 28 August 2007

Legging it

Last night I was so exhausted I didn't even make it into bed. My duvet cover needed changing and I knew I had to get one from the drawer.

So I thought "if I just lie down here for a minute, I'll get it in a moment." Luckily my housemate was able to wake me up. And take a photo of course.

This picture is embarrassing for one reason only. No, not that I have passed out on the floor (who hasn't?) but that you can see that I have Ikea drawers as bedside tables.

A few weeks ago we were on a shoot on location at a huge country house. I was so exhausted I squirreled off and fell asleep in a bath. I thought that the loo would be the last place anyone would think to look for me. I was mistaken.

Yes, I've fallen asleep on the Tube too. And yes I was drunk at the time.

I ended up in Stanmore in fucking Zone 13 or something (read: outer space) at the end of the Jubilee Line. Luckily it wasn't late and I could get the train back.

The worst experience was getting on what I thought was the last train home (I was living in Ealing at the time and needed to get to Ealing Broadway) but instead the train terminated at North Acton (read: the dregs of London, no apologies if you live there).

I had to walk from fucken North-goddam-Acton to Ealing Broadway at about 1am on a week-night and I got so lost I ended up stumbling around that disgusting bloody Hangar Line gyratory system. The part where all the homeless men shout and rave at passers-by.

To non-Londoners this roughly translates as: "While drunk, at 1am on a weekday morning I needed to get from Paris to London but ended up stumbling around the slums of Barcelona."

When I first got to London I lived in a house with six other loud South Africans. So there was a lot of drunken stumbling around and singing on the Tube. Maybe some of those memories are worth digging up for a laugh. Er, maybe not.

Anyway... after I mentioned chicken legs the other day somebody threw down a challenge.

It went something like; "you're so dismissive of chicken legs - let's see yours then..."

Fine. Check out those babies above. Those calves are anything but chicken, bitches. Now it's your turn to show us your legs. And that means all of you.

Bekerk! Bekerk! Come on, prove that you're not chooky.

9 comments:

chabang said...

still with the big gay pants - will you never learn?

Brechi said...

nice legs ;)

ANDRE said...

awesome post because:

1) cute pics
2) great tube story (I threw up on myself once on the Jubilee Line between Baker Street and St John's Wood.. I know how it feels to be drunk and helpless!)
3) I love the challenge. Here's the link to my pic (I just noticed you can almost see my dick from the boxers, whoops..):

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g275/supereroe/foto196.jpg

Bobby Vanquish said...

chabang: no, i'm not going to make any lame gag about "if you don't like them, come and take them off then." that would be lecherous. I'd never say anything like that.

brechi: cheque's in the post, mate. thank you.

andre:
1/ thanks
2/ i'm feeling a post about disgusting tube behaviour coming on! sis... did you do it in the carriage or out the end window? or did you barf in the corner where you perch?
3/ hullo - your legs are WAY hotter than mine. che bello!

London Preppy said...

Fine then. Here's my entry (flexed)

http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k179/prep1980/Picture1-3.jpg

Bobby Vanquish said...

LP: Good pic... I am going to have to make a gallery of "Hot Blogger Legs". I think you may be in with a chance to win in the "Best thighs / quads" category. There is also "biggest calves" category and "generally sexy" category.
Crufts was never this cool!!

ANDRE said...

I started to feel sick while standing up in the carriage, and since I didn't know what to do I tried to hold it in my mouth. That made everything worse and it all came out on my shirt and on the floor in front of the doors. I think I even still remember the number of that carriage!

Oh and this is a pic I just took of my calf. When flexed it kinda reminds me of a scrotum.. http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g275/supereroe/foto167.jpg

sleepyboy said...

Ahh I'm late but here's my entry.

http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee168/trybaby/legs2.jpg?t=1188485412

Anonymous said...

here's my entry too. Doing it for my country, the boulangerie downstairs and all the married smoking cheaters, which all happen to be the same thing.

http://img484.imageshack.us/img484/8701/090107142948qi2.jpg