Wednesday 1 August 2007

Gotcha!

Every morning I see the same guy doing the same thing and everytime I see it, it repulses me in the extreme.

He is doddery, bald and has a very small willy. And how do I know all of this?

Because every morning he stands naked, in the gym change-room and blow-dries his cock.

And then dries his balls. And then his bum-crack. And then jiggles his balls some more and blow dries them some more.

And then he uses the hairdryer to blow-dry under his arms and again jiggles his balls and squats down and blow dries his undercarriage.

The man is bald but that doesn't stop him, because after nearly shoving the hairdryer up his goddam arse, he then uses it to blow-dry the one or two remaining hairs on his head.

This vile show usually carries on for at least five fucken minutes every morning.

And guess what?

This morning I staked out behind one of the benches and caught his repugnant regime on film. (If you've got something in your mouth er, sorry - what I mean is don't look if you're eating...)


At this point in the picture he's moved onto aimlessly blow-drying his bald head but has been stood there - and I timed it - in that grim repose for the last four fucken minutes!

Do you know how much it upsets me that he's there, like that, every morning for the whole fucking world to have to look at?

If he wants to show off, I'll give him fucking show-off.

I don't mind white ball-hair blowdrying because I simply won't use that hairdryer and I don't mind that he uses the hairdryer even though he's got no hair on his head.

But why the fuck does he hang to "swing" (there's not much there to swing) in the breeze for all of us to have to look at?

I'm considering changing my gym times to avoid seeing that. Or alternativey I could just workout at home.

Which links bloody amazingly into this...


Don't worry, I'm fine. But my accent isn't.

Bobby's Dodgy Music Collection CD #4

If there's one CD in my collection I have hidden from others on more than a few occasions it's this one; Tissues and Issues.

I bought it because Crazy Chick (?) sounded quite funky but I listened to it a few times and thought "er - that was a waste of £9".The only interesting thing about it is that I bought it at the Asda in Wembley which makes it doubly trashy.

The story of exactly why I was at that Asda is a long one and boring too. (Arrived early for concert, went for a walk.)

I wouldn't recognise any of the other songs on the album if they were to walk up to me and grab my crotch / buy me a drink etc.

9 comments:

chabang said...

You wear flip-flops at home, have a rebok ball and THAT many biro's yet still insist you're not middle-class????

Humming Bird in Hyde said...

The diva is backkkkkkkkkk :-)

Luv it!!!

HBH x

Bobby Vanquish said...

Chabang: I'm feeling self-conscious. Mainly because my mum drives a Range Rover and I think my dad once voted Tory.
Actually, why am I getting the complex. You said you went to a posh school for god's sake. Me middle class? Er, Hu!lo!

HBH: I'm glad you've found your way here and I'm glad we're still in touch.
I said to you that I'd tell you if I was going away forever and I will keep a promise no matter what.

TheDreamer said...

Hey, that's my grandad you're photographing. He's a real hotty.

Bobby Vanquish said...

Dreamer - at the risk of jeopardising your inheritance, would you kindly tell grand-pa to put a fuckig towel around his god-forsaken cunting fucken waist.
But don't say that. Do it in a nice way.
Pretty please?

Sh@ney said...

You really do have a certain charm about you & you sound great in the audio, maybe you should do radio...:P
I would have loved to been there when you crashed off the gym ball...Great clip - Loved it!

Sh@ney said...

Oh shit, forgot to mention the old timer....Trust me if he aint got much to show it's a far better sight than the one I copped a few years ago, this old bugger's balls were tapping against his knees in the pools public washroom , now I have heard of balls dropping but these nutz were running!! It was kinda freeky, but you just couldn't help but stare!

firstimpre55ion said...

OMG, is it mean for me to say I was totally laughing at the video? (Despite it probably being a ruse).

I forgot to add you to my RSS feeds Bobby! I have to catch up now :D

fI

Bobby Vanquish said...

Shaney: The old guy is seriously gross. I can give you the exact time he's going to be there and you can check it out yourself. If you haven't had breakfast it can really make you feel ill.

fI: I had planned to fall off the ball (what did you think was going to happen?) but I hadn't planned to do it so well. And right back into the bookcase too. But it did really fucking hurt. So that's the end of the stunts then.