Legging it

Last night I was so exhausted I didn't even make it into bed. My duvet cover needed changing and I knew I had to get one from the drawer.

So I thought "if I just lie down here for a minute, I'll get it in a moment." Luckily my housemate was able to wake me up. And take a photo of course.

This picture is embarrassing for one reason only. No, not that I have passed out on the floor (who hasn't?) but that you can see that I have Ikea drawers as bedside tables.

A few weeks ago we were on a shoot on location at a huge country house. I was so exhausted I squirreled off and fell asleep in a bath. I thought that the loo would be the last place anyone would think to look for me. I was mistaken.

Yes, I've fallen asleep on the Tube too. And yes I was drunk at the time.

I ended up in Stanmore in fucking Zone 13 or something (read: outer space) at the end of the Jubilee Line. Luckily it wasn't late and I could get the train back.

The worst experience was getting on what I thought was the last train home (I was living in Ealing at the time and needed to get to Ealing Broadway) but instead the train terminated at North Acton (read: the dregs of London, no apologies if you live there).

I had to walk from fucken North-goddam-Acton to Ealing Broadway at about 1am on a week-night and I got so lost I ended up stumbling around that disgusting bloody Hangar Line gyratory system. The part where all the homeless men shout and rave at passers-by.

To non-Londoners this roughly translates as: "While drunk, at 1am on a weekday morning I needed to get from Paris to London but ended up stumbling around the slums of Barcelona."

When I first got to London I lived in a house with six other loud South Africans. So there was a lot of drunken stumbling around and singing on the Tube. Maybe some of those memories are worth digging up for a laugh. Er, maybe not.

Anyway... after I mentioned chicken legs the other day somebody threw down a challenge.

It went something like; "you're so dismissive of chicken legs - let's see yours then..."

Fine. Check out those babies above. Those calves are anything but chicken, bitches. Now it's your turn to show us your legs. And that means all of you.

Bekerk! Bekerk! Come on, prove that you're not chooky.