Cluck you

Pop quiz, bitches.

Have a look at the picture below that I managed to very discreetly snap in the gym changeroom. The very scrawmy legs in the picture belong to a guy who just pisses me off.

I have not ever chatted to him, in fact I don't know him from a bar of soap but do you know how you can just cultivate an irrational loathing for someone based on a very flimsy premise?

Here's the premise... of the two pictures below - both hand drawn by me - which one do you think accurately reflects the top half?

Exhibit 1:


Exhibit 2:
Now before you go leaping to any conclusions think about what I've mentioned.

He has chicken legs. His legs are scrawny and tiny. Perhaps he too is scrawny and tiny, yes?

No fucken way. Of course the upper half is pretty close to the drawing in Exhibit 2.

I just want to shake him and go "dude, you look like a fucken idiot!" Maybe it would be a good idea to cluck very quietly.

If he just did one day of legs a week it wouldn't look so bad. He always wears board shorts because his thighs must be like broomsticks. But that's not all!

Exhibit 2 is actually a bit of a rose-tinted drawing because he very definitely does not have a sixpack. He has enormous shoulders, large pecs and huge arms. And that's it.

And still that's not all!

He's also the worst person to work out near because he picks up the heaviest weights, lifts them once or twice then let's out a huge groan and drops the fucking things on the floor.

"If they're too heavy and you have to keep on dropping them, use fucking lighter weights, cunt!" Is what I'd like to say.

And do you know the most remarkable thing about this guy?

If you visit any gym on any day, in any country in absolutely any part of the world, he will be there. Getting in your way, panting, groaning, doing the same exercises day-in, day-out and then just loving himself in the mirror.

Just don't mention chicken legs.