Big Wonk-end Pt 1

In Britain we have public holidays on a Monday and they're called Bank Holidays. Even though there are banks that are open.

Bank holiday weekends are an opportunity for the Great British Public to basically go mad. Especially when the weather is good. I, being British, (because it says so in my passport) decide that on this Bank Holiday, I am going to go mad too. So...

Friday
Leave work. Dinner, drinks. Home. Few more glasses of wine. It's a Bank Holiday Weekend remember which also means no gym.

Saturday
Weather good, wake up and tidy up. Lunch with Helen (friend). Bank holiday mood kicks in again so decide to have pasta. And a beer. And another.

Get home, a little wobbly.

Text to me: "What time to you wanna meet later?"
Me text back: "...Am not feeling too hot (read: I'm feeling fat) ... dunno if I wanna anymore"

It's at these times that I remember the words of Samuel Goldwyn when he said "I don't want to be part of a group that would have me as a member."

Text to me: "Don't start your crap - you know you'll have a good time when you get there"
Me text back: "Yeah, yeah..."

21:00.
Mood: Wanna lie in front of TV and fall asleep.

Shortly afterwards...
Text to me: "What have you decided"
Me text back: "I don't feel like it."
Text to me: "You're a loser, see you outside at 01.00"

01.00 outside club.
Me: "Yey, I'm glad I had a sleep - I'm up for this now."
James (friend): "You're such a fucking loser, you do the same thing every time."

01.05.
Matinee!



06.00-ish
Jon, James and his boyfriend: "We're going to this new thing where Beyond used to be."
Me: You must be absolutely fucking joking.

06.01
Bobby gets cab home.

06.10
Get home and search for sleeping pills / valium / a brick to knock myself out with. Nothing. Fuck. Faced with the only option available I did what any meaningful person would do. I opened a nice, cold beer.

It's Bank Holiday Weekend for god's sake.

To be continued... with various morsels of "what happened in club", "the house party that did" and "how to survive for 24 hours on an hour's sleep".