Tuesday, 7 August 2007

Absolutely fatuous

Do you remember Absolutely Fabulous (when it was funny...) no, when Edina goes into the office, sits at her desk and just moves piles paper around?

That's what today felt like. Minus the Bollinger.

It actually got off to a rather bad start on the Tube, being stuck next to these two cnuts...

One stop later and they're still fucken at it:

Finally, a man in a suite trying to read his FT got sick of the smooching noises and asked them to stop. Then another woman sneered, under her breath, "it's probably not his wife..." which made everyone chuckle. Twats.

So at the office I moved a few papers around, sent a few e-mails, walked to the shop and necked a few extra-strength painkillers because Sally, who "works" with me, has a wisdom tooth coming through and has a stash of really strong Ibuprofen.

I like Sally because she's a wealth of knowledge when it comes to matters contraband. Like, have you ever heard of Hillybilly Heroin? Well, I hadn't.

Apparently Oxycontin is such a powerful painkiller it's akin to heroin. We decide to find out if there's a way to buy some. Purely for research purposes of course.

A few dodgy websites later I am really not happy about giving my credit card details to a firm based in Mexico, so we give up.

However, this line from Wikipedia made me laugh; "Armed robberies of pharmacies where the robber demanded only OxyContin, not cash, have occurred in the US."

It's like the man who's had enough and so decides he's going to end it all by taking an overdose of pills. So he pops a stash of painkillers and er... ends up feeling a whole lot better.

It's now the middle of the afternoon and with nothing to do we decide to get the prop box out.

"My, what a large helmet!"
"Is that a truncheon or are you..."
"Please Sir, I'd appreciate it if you could come quietly..." etc. etc.

Tomorrow I'm packing to work with protein shakes and a gun.

If things are as tiresome as they were today, I going to crawl underneath the desks and shoot at colleagues' feet.

Not that I always pack a loaded weapon. Bla bla bla...

3 comments:

Sh@ney said...

LOL...It's nice to see a couple having a little snog, but when it goes on & on and the level of noise becomes irritating it is time to hit the fire alarm.

Playin silly buggers ey...CUTE!
I could imagine some desperate addict holding up a chemist for a large quantity of the one item...Thats too funny!

Humming Bird in Hyde said...

Mister police officer, I'm been bad, please arrest me :P

Bobby Vanquish said...

Shaney - the noise was vile. It wasn't a little snog, it was full-on sucking of face. And you can't see it in the picture but he had dandruff and she was running her fingers through his hair. Ew!

HBH: Anytime you like. I have the time, if you hide the key to the handcuffs. Of course it'll only work with your headboard.