Bricking it

I wish I had a sign around me that said "I don't do recommendations".

Because invariably people always ask i.e. "Molly and I are going to the cinema, have you seen anything good recently?"

What I really want to say is "yes I've seen loads of good things but our tastes are completely different and if you go and see what I enjoyed, you'll probably never speak to me again."

But what comes out of my mouth is; "yes er, Die Hard 4 was quite amusing."

So Molly and her mate pack off to see Die Hard, which usually results in the following text sent to me afterwards; "Bobby, that movie was complete crap, we walked out. Don't ever fucken suggest anything to me ever again. I hate you".

Of course I don't have any friends called Molly but I do have a friend called Ashley. When I first moved to London I slept on Ashley's couch for six weeks while I found a place to live, job etc.

So we're very good friends which is why Ashley of all people should know never to ask me for a recommendation and yet she still does.

Her brother's visiting and she wants to go out for a meal. "Is there any place near you that does good Italian?"

I share my thoughts and she takes my advice.

This morning I get a phone-call. Apparently the waiter spilt a glass of red wine on her top, two customers got into a fight and had to be ejected and her brother had calamari and is now sick.

The only thing I can say is "well, obviously I haven't lost the magic touch!"

Genius.

Then, early this morning I get woken up by the most irritating noise in the world. It goes on and on and on - not good for any morning, especially on a Sunday.

Trying to find the funny side, I finally decide to get out the mobile phone...


Well it never did start again. Idiot car.

Maybe someone did come and throw a brick at it which would have been good. It's an ugly fucken green 4x4 thrown together by a bunch of commies and deserves all the bricks it gets.

Bobby's Dodgy Music Collection CD #1

I'm not doing this in alphabetical order but this CD just happened to be the first one that my eyes clapped onto to. And what a great way to start...

Come on, admit it. You used to like them too. Happy Nation was a brilliant song. And I bet you thought the chirpy "oi noy se zoin" (I saw the sign) was pretty good too. Yes, I have an Ace of Base CD. Yes, I used to listen to them.

And I remember that one of the guys was quite hot too. Okay, I'll stop now.